Crazy stuff and just stuff

So, I had said that I would write about our crazy week.

First, we had Christmas. That day after we opened presents, I started packing. Because the next morning, we were in the car, headed west. Christmas day I put away all our decorations. I started to say goodbye to our house there. The next morning, we loaded up our last minute things. I got our food packed in. I walked around making sure we had all that we needed. We got in the car, and we left.

It took us three days to drive from North Carolina to Southern California. We drove through the night the first night, and got a hotel the next night, and then the next night we were here. We decided to drive through the night that night. We got pretty far too. And it was amazing that the only bad weather we had was in Oklahoma. We had the heaviest rain I have ever driven in. Well, Matt was driving, but it was still scary. We couldn't see the road, there was thunder and lightning, and then, well, it's Oklahoma. I was a bit worried, so I called my friend to check the weather for us. And that was it. When we got to Texas, it was amazing to see how big the sky was. It is just not that big back east. There are lots of trees and things aren't as wide open as they are in Texas. The sky is just really big. We stopped at the first In-n-out we came to, which was in Kingman AZ. And I randomly saw an old friend there. Her parents live in Flagstaff, and they were driving the say way we were. I am so glad I saw her. I was actually thinking about her not too long before we left.

Driving into California was a bit interesting. I haven't been here for over a year, and I'm not just coming to visit. I'm coming for a while. At least six months. It was strange to think. It's still a little strange at the moment, but I'm sure I'll get used to it.

The most difficult thing about being here is my husbands family. Every time we come back, they get crazier. It is SO overwhelming to be around them. Right now my coping strategy is just to sit there and cross stitch while the kids play. But now that Matt is gone, they might actually talk to me for more than a few minutes. Luckily we are leaving to go to my sisters wedding open house, so I get a break from the crazy in laws. (I would love to go into detail about them, but I think I will refrain. for now.)

Right now I find myself imagining myself back in our house with our stuff. It really is just stuff. But it's my stuff. Stuff that helps us to feel at home no matter where we've moved to. And I don't have a lot of that stuff with me. I don't have my couches (even though I can't wait to afford to buy different ones). I don't have my giant bed. (how am I supposed to go from a cal king to a full???) I don't have my washer and dryer. I don't have my dishes. I don't have my pictures hanging from the walls. (I did bring a few small pictures with me though.) And biggest of all is that I don't have my husband to help make it easier. I don't have him making jokes about why my parents refuse to get a new mattress on the bed I'm sleeping in (it squeaks like you wouldn't believe just rolling over.) Or asking me (like he did today) if I've lost weight because I look a lot smaller and how he is lucky that he's got me for his wife.

I know that I can do anything as long as there is light at the end of my tunnel. And I can see the light already. It is still very very far off, and is a very small pin point of light in the dark. But six months isn't very long at all. And it just might be even less. So, I am going to continue to focus on the good things, the positive and pray that time goes by quickly so that I can have my stuff back. I know you can't take it with you. But it sure helps you feel at home.

Hello again

Hello blogging world. I'm back with all of you. This last week has been a bit crazy, and maybe tomorrow I'll be able to write about it. Goodnight.

Merry Christmas

Three nights ago, Lucy woke up and threw up. Two times. The next night, she only did it once. She was perfectly fine all day. She gave it to me, but not exactly the same if you get what I mean. Today Lucy had liquid poo. But luckily Matt got to take care of that one. I have a very very sore throat. Why does this happen right before we move? I mean really? Two years ago, right before we left Germany, I walked in the door from my weekend trip to Ireland and Andrew threw up. Then when we moved into guest housing, Lucy threw up. We arrived in San Antonio, and then I threw up. And well, other things. I'm kind of done with this. By the time we leave, we all better be doing better. Because, well, I said so.

Merry Christmas friends! I'll be back in a while.

Head on over

I am posting some graduation pictures and a kind of boring video on my family blog for those of you who are interested. I think I look pretty darn good in my red dress. I will be posting a very short video that is more interesting once the first one is up. I am so glad it is all over. In a good way.:)

edited: the video is taking forever to upload. so if you go there and there isn't anything there, it will be up by the end of the day. darn video.

Decoration #11

This is hanging on my wall. I finally got it framed! I cross stitched this entire thing. I LOVE it. And I'm finally in my home on Christmas so that I can hang it up. Click on it to see it bigger.

Reality

Our time here is quickly coming to an end. We only got our orders a week ago Friday, and we've spent a lot of the time since then figuring out things and frantically planning. I tried to plan, back when we had first found out where we were going. But things that I have no control over kind of took over, and I had to focus on other things.

Today as we took our van in to get a trailer hitch put on, things suddenly became very real. We are really leaving the area. We are really driving all the way across the United States with two kids and a trailer in the middle of winter. I am really going to be living with my parents while my husband goes to officer training schools. Andrew is really going to go to kindergarten at my old elementary school. I am going to live near the beach again. I will live an hour from my best friend. I will be going to church with people that have known me since I was 7 years old. All of this information in my head is about to make it explode.

I am excited yet terrified. The last thing I ever wanted to do was to move back in with my parents. The first time I went back wasn't exactly good. And the first time I stayed with them after we got back from Germany was a huge disaster. But for some reason, I feel like it will work this time. It will give some members of our families an opportunity to get to know us again, and to get to know the kids, whom they have never really known. (which, honestly, is their own darn fault. seriously people, pick up the phone and call and talk to your grandkids. it won't kill you.) We will be going to Disneyland (Lucy will die over the princesses, and I will be wishing she had never heard of them). If Matt is able to come for a weekend, I want to head down to Sea World where we get four free tickets once a year. I want to go to the beach and just sit and smell it. I want to drive on a freeway that doesn't circle around anything, and isn't four different roads, and has a decent speed limit. I want sun day after day after day. I want flip flops in February without being cold. I want to go to dinner at the restaurant I used to work at with my best friend once a month without kids. I want to meet my brothers wife and my sisters soon-to-be husband. (my brothers first anniversary is at the end of the month) I want my inlaws to see the little people inside the small bodies of my kids. I want to eat at In-n-out once a week and dip my fries into my strawberry shake. I want to take my kids to the beach and look for seashells and to check out the tidepools. I want to eat a good fish taco.

There are two things, ok, possibly three things that I'm hoping. First, I'm hoping I don't revert back to my old self when I step into my parents house. I have to remember that I am a 30 year old (seriously, how...when???) mother of two small children. And that I can do pretty much anything. I don't want to forget all the things I've learned about myself, about my mother, and how to deal with our day to day interaction. Second, I like most of my past to stay in my past. I don't like seeing people from high school that I haven't seen since then. I didn't like who I was then, and I am nothing like that person now. I'm one of those people that will "ignore" friend requests on facebook or myspace. I don't add people if I haven't talked to them in over 5 years. And sometimes even less than that. I guess the big reason is what I talked about already. The fear of reverting back to the person I was then. No thank you. Third, I'm really really hoping my inlaws take advantage of this time. They are not good long distance grandparents. In fact, I don't think they have spoken to my kids more than maybe once this whole year. I come from a family that keeps in touch, that calls, and is more or less aware of things going on within the family. My husband comes from people that have been divorced multiple times, whose parents weren't very good parents either (and consequently crappy grandparents to my husband and his sibs), and who are pretty darn selfish. They really have no idea how to be parents or grandparents. They rarely call, and it's not because it's expensive to call us. My husband doesn't call them, and I've finally decided that it isn't my job to keep them up to date on our little happenings. I hope that they are able to step it up for the short time we'll be there. I'm hoping that they will come to my parents house, that they will invite us over, that they will want to do things with us regularly. But while I hope they will, the reality is they might do a little bit, but not really very much. I will have to endure the never ending speaking of his father, who also doesn't hear a thing that you say when you try to get a word in. I will have to endure the whining of his mother. The behavior of his very bipolar sister. And his recovering alcoholic brother who is just a sweet guy, but you wonder what is going on in his head sometimes. It is a little overwhelming. But I'm doing my best having a good attitude about all of it.

Overall, I am looking forward to living there again, just for a little while.

Next week, around Christmas, say a prayer or send good thoughts in my direction that the weather won't be bad, that my kids handle the travel well, and that I don't get my husband too upset at me because I get so anxious as a passenger. And that we will get there in plenty of time so that my husband makes his flight, and gets some time with his family. I will be so glad when this move is all over.

Decoration #10

I'm posting two pictures of this one. I'm not a good photographer and so one is with flash and one without.
I love this nativity. I bought it right before we left Germany. I went to the Kathe Wohlfhart store at the shopping center kaserne and spent some money. I knew that I might not be back, and I would regret not having a little something (ok, a lot of little somethings) from this store. I bought some ornaments and I bought this. It was the least expensive one they had. But I loved it for how simple it was. And for some reason, I just love those palm trees. I think it gives it much more character than other nativities.

The little Führer

My husband just said something about this story. Seriously. First, who would name their child that. Adolf, ok. But did you have to add the Hitler to it? Second, while they should be allowed to order a birthday cake, I'm sure it was a kneejerk reaction by the store. But they can't possibly think that they wouldn't get some flak for naming their child Adolf Hitler. Just don't take him to Germany. Or France. Or Italy. Or Poland. And definitely not around a Jewish synagogue. What do you think?

Just say no to Superhero's

I don't like comic book stuff. I just don't. I don't like the movies that are made from the comic book stuff. Don't like Spiderman, Superman, Xmen, Incredible Hulk. The only one I can kind of get into is Batman. And it probably has to do with the fact that Val Kilmer and Christian Bale have both played him. Never mind George Clooney..... anyway, I just don't like the superhero kind of stuff. Now, if we were talking Incredibles, I LOVE that movie. I could sit and watch that whole thing.

I was pleasantly surprised tonight. Matt got Hancock from Netflix today, and we sat down and watched it. There were really only two reasons I watched it. One, it was filmed in Los Angeles. Two, Will Smith. And I think it was one of the best superhero movies I've ever seen. Can't really put my finger on it exactly. There is something in it that all the other movies just don't have. Maybe something about their human-ness, something about helping others, I don't know. Just watch it if you haven't already and you'll feel what I'm saying. Because it's definitely something you feel. Not really what you see.

Added bonus to everything I just said: Will Smith is just hot.

This really makes you think

I read this post the other day, and I reread it again today. And boy did it make me think. We recently changed cell phone companies, and we both got new phones. I didn't throw my phone away, we gave it to someone that needed a phone that was used by our old cell company. I like my new phone. But if I needed to replace it I would find a way to recycle it, donate it or whatever so that I contribute as little as possible to our landfills.

I wish we lived in a world where quality was of greater importance, and where more companies were more concerned about our earth, and where having a lot of stuff wasn't the goal. It brings to mind a license plate frame I've seen. It goes something like "whoever dies with the most stuff wins!!" Great. I certainly don't want to create even more clutter for me to deal with in our home, but be smarter about what we buy, and to use it as long as we can. It's been a little difficult to convince my husband of all this. He doesn't quite get this mentality, but baby steps. He used to make fun of me for recycling so much, but now he is putting stuff in the recycle. We'll give him some time before I've completely brainwashed him.:)

So, maybe rather than throwing out things that might not work or things that you don't want, lets find a better home for them. Or maybe find somewhere local where you can get it fixed or where you can donate them to be fixed and used for someone who isn't as lucky as the rest of us.

I am very pleased with my efforts. Today is our trash day, and I noticed that our regular trash wasn't out on the curb. Only our recycle. I asked my husband why it wasn't out. And he said there was so little in it, we didn't need to put it out. But my recycle was overflowing.:) LOVE IT!! Now to find a place that recycles plastic bags.........

Decoration #9

Here is my real Christmas pyramid. A friend gave it to me, so I don't know exactly where she got it from. But the box has German all over it, so hopefully it was made in Germany and not China.:) This is the first time I've ever had it out, and the kids are doing very well with it. I took an up close picture of each level so you could see whats on it. My grandma used to have one at her house that was out all year from what I can remember. I'm sure she bought hers when she went to Europe with her sister back in the 60's. I have no idea where it is, but I would love to have it. I don't think I'll actually put candles on the bottom to make it go around this year. But maybe next year.

Guilty Pleasure

I get a sick sort of pleasure watching the MP's pull people over on post. Inside I'm laughing at them. Most of the time it's single soldiers who think that they don't have to follow the speed limit through the neighborhoods. (the speed limit on my street is 15 mph.) If I could stand on the street with a sign that says "YOU'RE GOING TOO FAST. I'M WRITING DOWN YOUR LICENSE PLATE NUMBER AND I HAVE THE MP'S ON SPEED DIAL" I would totally do it. We have been walking in the cross walk and the cars behind the cars that have stopped have pulled around and almost hit our friends. They go down our road at 40 mph, and it's not going to get any better because they are building more single soldier barracks down the road from us. And while I know not all single soldiers are responsible for speeding down our street while kids are getting to and from school, I honestly feel that they are the majority of them. Most of the time, you can tell by the car. Small sports car, anything two door, more than one soldier in the car.....while I might be profiling them, I really don't care. It's not as if they can't read the signs posted every where. I give them dirty looks regularly. It doesn't do much, but I feel a little better. And when cars are speeding down the road, and we need to cross, sometimes I step out and look straight at them. You can't miss me. I'm huge. And sometimes if their window is down, I will say something. Sure, I would LOVE to drive faster than 15 mph. But I would rather not hit someone walking their dog, or a mom or dad walking their kids to school. So, every time I see an MP pull someone over, I do a little dance of joy inside. And not once do I feel sorry for them. It's about time, is what I say.

Decoration #7 and #8

I bought these two ornaments while in Europe. This pretzel I bought in a little city called Soufflenheim, where they make beautiful pottery. (obviously I have many pieces of pottery too.) Pretzels are EVERYWHERE in Germany and many of the border towns on the France side. It is a huge cultural thing and I have never had better pretzels than while living there. Yeah, it's kind of a strange ornament to hang on a tree. But it goes well with my pickle one.:)

This is a pewter handpainted mini Germany Christmas pyramid. I have a big one that I might show you later. But I LOVE this ornament. They have some beautiful handpainted ornaments made out of pewter. I have a few of them and this one came out the best. (for some reason my other ones the flash made it too hard to see and without the flash it was too dark. sigh.) On a real one, the candles at the bottom generate heat that makes the windmill thing at the top turn around. I just love it. I doubt we'll actually light candles on the one we have, but it's a nice thought. This ornament is only about two inches tall.

To see some AWESOME German Christmas decorations and ornaments (not to mention amazing nutcrackers and pyramids) go here. I've been to their biggest stores in Rothenberg ob der Tauber and it is Christmas all year round there. If you have a Tuesday Morning near you they have great Christmas stuff there too. You can get your own Christmas pyramid or nutcracker. Ones that are actually MADE in Germany. Not China. Or wherever else things are made nowadays.

Tonight I will be putting in my site counter thingy. I was given a few links and hopefully I'll be able to install it. So, if you're lurking around here (ha. no one lurks on my blog) I will find you out!!!!!! :)

Boy

I am computer retarded. Seriously. I know little to nothing about HTML and where to enter codes and all that stuff. So, I'm working on figuring out how to install Google Analytics on my blog. If anyone has any words of advice, please tell me. I just might give you my passwords to install it for me because I am so lame at this. And then you'll tell me how to do it so that this will be the last time I'm this retarded.

I was just wondering

And since I have been wondering, I'm going to find me a stat counter and put it on here. Because my curiosity to know how many hits I get on my blog is getting the best of me. And because I have a sneaking suspicion that I don't have as many readers as I like to think I do. Which is fine. Blogging isn't about how many comments you get. But it is a nice bonus. Not sure what kind of counter I'll get. Just wanted to let you all know. Back to regular lame blog posts.:)

Help

I just read over at DesignMom something very disturbing. In two months, handmade toys will be illegal. DesignMom and the moms at Cool Mom Picks articulate it much better than will even try to do. As a huge lover of almost all things at Etsy, and also wanting to use my money to help support those using their talents to make beautiful things, I am sad. Please go to these links and read the links that they have provided to write letters to your Congressman or to the CPSC. I will be doing it as soon as I get my computer off of my bed to where I can use our real mouse. Spread the word friends. Thanks.

Decoration #6

Our first Christmas back in the states, my mom gave me this as a Christmas present. Of course, this is the first time I've ever been able to take it out. It's the biggest nativity that I have. Next year I might find more pieces for it, but I think it looks pretty good how it is. I really like how light in color it is. I'm hoping to get a few more nativity sets every year.

Potatoes

For our Thanksgiving Feast at a friends house, I was asked to bring mashed potatoes. And I made mashed sweet potatoes too. Since I come from a family of potato connoisseurs, I made quite a bit of potatoes. I made regular old mashed ones (with whipping cream and half and half) and realized that it just might not be enough. I had some small red potatoes so I threw those in the stock pot to start boiling. I love those because I just love the skins in with the yummy mash. And my sweet potatoes had brown sugar, cinnamon, butter and whipping cream in them. Topped with some sugared pecans that I had made. SO. GOOD. Well, eight adults did not eat as much mashed potatoes as I had thought they might. I came home with a ton of potatoes left over. And I started racking my brain of all the different things that we could have with mashed potatoes. Here is what we had.

Chuck roast in the crock pot with steamed broccoli and mashed potatoes
Sliced Kielbasa with mashed potatoes and a salad
Shepard's Pie. (I was especially proud of this one because I had to improvise on some of the things in the recipe and it came out awesome. Andrew said it was his favorite.)

We also had some at lunches with leftovers. I still have a very small amount left, and I don't know if I'll actually eat it or just throw it out. Because I'm kinda done with mashed potatoes. And I think everyone else in our family is too.

Decoration #4 and #5

As all of you know, I am a France freak. And my Christmas tree wouldn't be complete without a little bit of Paris on it. Hence these two ornaments. I think I bought them at Kohls two years ago. The Eiffel Tower had a horrid poodle next to it and luckily that poodle broke off. (I'm sure there are Parisians and even French people that have poodles but I can't remember a single one.) Sorry these aren't better pictures.

I love France at Christmas time. In the cities that are close to the German border they have great Christmas Markets with hot wine and yummy hot chocolate. In all cities, they have decked out the city with lights that drape across the streets. Lindt chocolate starts to sell their coveted-and-only-sold-in-France Pyrenees chocolate. And the normal one full aisle of chocolate at the grocery store becomes three or four. I just love it. I love it all. And I miss it dreadfully. Luckily I have many ornaments that I bought over there that bring a little of that feeling here. At least for me.

Finally

I think the problem is fixed. Matt has been working on the computer and we're almost sure that all evil rootkits have been vanquished. And as far as I'm concerned, all hackers and those evil people that create and send out viruses should be punished in some sort of way. I'm confident that in the afterlife, they will be duly punished. But it would just be nice if it happened here too, you know?

Kicking myself

So, last Thursday night I did a dumb thing on the computer. I tried to fix it. The next day Matt tried to fix it. And now it won't work. At all. And will cost at least $300 to get fixed. So, while I put the problem in the computer (totally on accident btw) at least he is the one that actually did it in.:) Ok, so maybe that's not the best way to look at it, but I don't feel nearly as guilty. I am at our neighborhood center typing this and getting in a few minutes on the internet as we will be without for a while more. Ugh. I am just retarded. But we'll survive. So, if I'm not commenting like I usually do, or my two blogs are looking a little neglected, that is why.

In something totally unrelated, I have finished making my Christmas cards!!! Hopefully tomorrow the picture will be done, and my envelopes are already addressed (well, most of them) and I've bought the stamps (stinkin cute nutcrackers). So, if you're lucky enough to be on my list, watch your mailbox. And if not, I will post a picture of my card as soon as I have a computer to upload it and post it. And maybe our picture.

So, until the next time friends. Who knows when that will be.........

Happy

So, the weather outside isn't exactly frightful, but it sure isn't great. And when it is grey and cloudy and cold, I start to turn off. It's almost as if I run on the sun and when the sun is supposed to be there and it's not, I slow way down and occasionally turn completely off. It also doesn't help that my emotions are a bit sensitive right now. So, to get myself out of a possible slump I have put fabulous Christmas music on my blog. If you don't like it, you can turn it off right when you get here. But who doesn't like Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters singing Jingle Bells??

Also, to get my thoughts in a more positive direction, I thought I would list things that either make me happy or that are great things in my life. It will most likely be a random sort of a list, and there won't be any pictures because I don't have the time right now to wait for them to load. So, here we go:

~Finally being able to use my Christmas decorations after two years of them being in storage!!
~Being almost done with my Christmas cards
~We should get our orders by early next week
~My Christmas shopping for our little family is done. Except I don't think Matt has shopped much for me. He's a last minute kind of a guy. Thats OK as I have bought him a few things to give to me to help him out.:)
~I bought a new skirt at Target yesterday for my sisters wedding. Not that I'll actually be able to go, but I'm trying to be more positive! (it is so cute too)
~My new cell phone is awesome. And the bluetooth is really awesome.
~Most of the time my kids play together fairly well.
~Matt will be graduating with his Masters and get his commission at the end of the month!!!!!!!!!!
~My commissary carries Cadbury Roses at Christmas time. But they are less than what Amazon has them for.
~Andrew is starting to be able to sound out words and read a few words.
~Even though I don't like winter I love wearing my winter coats with a scarf. Especially my long one. It's like wearing a blanket.

That is what I can come up with right now. I think that is a pretty good list. And now I'm off to make dinner.

Decoration #2 and #3

These are some of my favorite decorations that I got while living in Germany. Every year, usually the second weekend of October, the Heidelberg pavilion hosts a HUGE bazaar. Huge I tell you. There are vendors from all over Europe. English China, Dutch cheese and chocolate, Murano blown glass, Polish pottery, German sweaters.......it is awesome. There is also a guy from Israel that sells hand carved olive wood. I love it. I bought this nativity from that guy. He even has a website. (for some reason you can't do anything on the website, but there is contact information) This is only about three inches high. It isn't very big. I chose the picture where I didn't use the flash so you could see the detail on it.

The little green tree next to it is hand blown Ventian millefiori glass. The little millefioris are the ornaments. It isn't any bigger than the nativity. I love that little tree. They had some bigger ones, but I couldn't afford to get all of them. Sometimes I wish we had been sent to Germany when we were higher ranking so that I had more money to spend on cool stuff!! But what I did get, I love. I don't regret spending any of that money.

I told you how excited I was

Well, I wanted to start this yesterday, but I didn't. And now I've decided I'm not going to commit to doing this every day because sometimes things come up and it just might not happen. BUT. I want to do this because I am so darn excited to actually have Christmas decorations out. I am going to be posting pictures and talking about my Christmas decorations and ornaments. The last two we've haven't been in our own home and

This first decoration I made somewhere around first grade. I think. Either that or kindergarten. It is a baby food bottle turned upside down. We made a Christmas tree (with three sides so it will stand) and put some cotton at the bottom. Stuck it on the lid. Then painted the snow on the outside. I was very proud of it as a little girl. And it is still one of my favorites.

Check out my photography skills

I took this picture at the Farmers Market a few days before Halloween. The kids and I had gone to get pumpkins. And I took a bunch of pictures. But I saw this on the flowers they had out, and managed to get it. I thought it was awesome.

I cannot tell you just how EXCITED I am

I really can't. Because for the first time since we left Germany, I am going to be able to decorate my house with my Christmas decorations. We'll even put up our fake tree. (we got an amazing deal on it at the PX in Germany) I will get to use Christmas tablecloths. I will be able to put up my nativities. I will be able to put my awesome Christmas ornaments on our tree. Perhaps there is more of my mother in me than I like to admit to. Because she does this decorating thing every month with a different theme. I do very little ever, but I do like to decorate at Christmas. I even have polish pottery Christmas plates. And a Christmas platter. And two Christmas bowls. I'm excited to put out my willow tree nativity. Also my olive wood nativity. And I get to hang up the nativity that I cross stitched that I finally got framed (it looks so awesome). I'm hoping to get one that the kids can play with. I just wanted to share with all of you just how excited I am. And not only do I get to decorate, I get to be in my own house. Not in a hotel. Not in my MILs house. In our house. With our stuff. Doing it how we want to do it. And we don't have to go and visit anyone or do anything that entire day if we don't want to. And no one is going to come over so we can make it as messy as we want. This is going to be exciting. I'm going to start decorating on Monday. I usually wouldn't. But I have to make up for the last two Christmases somehow. And I just might take pictures of my ornaments and tell you about them. Because that is how excited I am to use them again. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanksgiving Past

In our 7 years of marriage, we have had Thanksgiving in about 7 different places.

1. San Diego with his sister
2. Utah with my family
3. Georgia at Cracker Barrel by ourselves(so yummy there)
4. Germany with our neighbors
5. Germany with our neighbors
6. Texas with one of my missionary companions and her little family
7. North Carolina with friends (this year)

Next year? Who knows where we'll be. We could stay at what will be our new home. We could travel the relatively short distance from there to CA. We could go to that same missionary companions house because she is living about an hour north of where we will be living. But it doesn't seem to matter much where it is. The food is good, our friends are good, and our little family is together. And if I'm lucky, I might be able to snag a family picture tomorrow to put in our Christmas cards. I love having my own photo printer.

edited: ok, this year is actually year 8, and sadly, i don't even remember what we did last year for thanksgiving. i know we were in texas, but it was the year after number 6. sigh. i think i'm slowly losing it.

Thankful

Since this afternoon, we've heard what I tell my kids are the "big guns". The Army post we live on is larger than many cities. And the ranges, while miles away, are still close enough that whatever they are shooting, we can hear. Sometimes it's small arms (and I'm talking probably M16s or whatever is the regular military issue rifle) but a lot of times, we're talking big guns. Canon. My house is literally shaking. Windows, doors, the ground....and talk about crooked pictures on the walls. Anyway, it got me thinking. While I know that these guns we hear are soldiers learning and preparing, it is a teeny tiny bit scary, especially late at night, to hear such huge noises. Can you even imagine living in a war zone? Can you imagine it being normal to hear these guns? (well it kind of is for us, but not in that way) Can those of us at home even comprehend what it is like to fire those weapons? The power that they have? There really isn't a point to all this. It's late and I must say I'm tired of the guns going off. They seemed to have stopped. For a minute anyway. But it's just a thought about the military, war, and just, well, everything that goes right along with those things. For so many of us the war in Iraq and Afghanistan is so far away from us, it isn't even in our daily thoughts. But here where I live, when husbands and wives are constantly deploying, when they are always out in the field preparing for those deployments, it is on our minds every day. And when I hear those big guns, I remember that some day my husband will be deployed, hopefully able to save soldiers lives so that they can come home to their families. And at this time next year, he might be gone. So, I'm thankful that he's here with us this year.

You know

I love blogging. I just do. I don't know what it is about this typing something up, posting it on the Internet and having complete strangers (and sometimes people you actually know) leave you comments. I know that when I started this blog, it opened a huge door for me. I was pretty much a single mom while my husband did his classroom part of PA school. I needed these cyber connections with people as my world was very small then. It still is actually, but I can deal with it better now.

It is partly because of comments and how people will sometimes post things on their blogs just to create a pity party for themselves that I have hesitated to post a few things, and why I just might turn off the comments for this one. I'm not sure yet if I will or not. I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that I hate it when people feel sorry for me. I hate having the whole world know of my deep personal troubles and having to deal with a new person coming up to me at church or some other setting and bring up the whole painful thing. Just really not something I want. Some thrive off of that. For some it actually helps them heal. Well, I don't know if that's true, but it's possible. It just doesn't work for me. I guess my point is, I'm not posting this for the comments. I'm not posting this so you'll all feel sorry for me and leave me comments with "hugs" on it. (no offense to those that do that. normally i would be happy to receive said hugs, just not on this post)

About a month ago, in the space of about one week, I had great news, fabulous news, an argument with a sister about the great news and then devastating news. Seriously. All in one week. It was so overwhelming I had to put a hold on the blogging. (and several other things.) I just didn't feel like the whole world, (ok, so there's only four of you that actually read my blog) needed to know all my dirty laundry. And the devastating news is a pretty deep wound. A wound which will not heal for a while. If ever.

I have been very contemplative (thanks shell for the big word) these last few weeks about all of the news that I got that week, including the argument with said sister. Just trying to sort it all out, at the same time keep functioning and getting Andrew to school and getting things done at home, taking care of the Christmas shopping and card making..... Luckily, not many people are aware of the devastating news, so for me, it makes life so much easier. And while my blog is normally about everything, this is just too personal for me to share here.

So, my four readers, I ask that you forgive my sporadic postings. And perhaps obscure references to something that I won't be terribly specific about. (even though i'm not sure that this sentence makes sense, i'm leaving it because i think it sounds good.)

The songs I have now on my blog, are there for a reason. They are very calming for me. While Francis Cabrel might be to France what Barry Manilow is to us Americans, I love his music. So many of his songs are relaxing, calming. And I'm just a French freak, and everything sounds better to me in French. Even yuck words. So, these songs might stick around for a while. They help me stop and listen and think and just make me feel good.

So, my blogging friends, that is my little explanation. Why do I feel I owe this blogging world an explanation? I don't know. And I don't think it's much of an explanation. But that is as good as it's going to get.

This is cracking me up

I have a very very good friend who is living in Ireland. Her dad is Irish, mom is a Brit, and her husband is a Brit too. She went to college in Edinburgh, so she's been all over the place. Anyway, I went to visit her about two years ago, before we left Germany. I should have gone way more often. And it was so cheap!!! I LOVE Ryanair. Anyway, while I was there, and pretty much when I visit anywhere, I always want to go to the grocery stores. I love them. That is where the real country is.

I love crunchie bars. Cadbury is one of my favorite chocolates. They sell crunchie bars at our commissary, but they are $1.15 each. Kinda expensive. But in North Ireland, not expensive at all. They also have this fabulous soft toffee stuff. I don't remember who makes it but it is fabulous. When I went, I stocked up on it. Matt loves it too, so unfortunately I have to share it.

Two years ago, we did a bit of a trade. She got me my crunchie nuggets and a few Charlie and Lola books and I bought her a Vera Bradley purse and we did a little exchange. I spend about an hour online IMing her this morning (her afternoon) and asked if there was anything that I could send to her to trade her for the yummy treats she would be sending me. She said she wanted zipper bags. You know, the kind of zipper bags where it isn't a press and seal thing it has an actual plastic thing on it and you just zip it back and forth. That is what she wants. She loves them, and her cousins wife (whom I met when I went to church, found out she grew up less than 50 miles from me and her sister was in my parents stake) would bring them back for her. And since her cousin moved back to the states she has been without. She is cracking me up. So, next time I hit the commissary, I will be getting her a whole bunch of those bags. Isn't it silly the things that we miss when we can't get them anymore?

Realistic or Pessimistic?????

Got a question for all of you. I want to know what you consider a realistic point of view and what you think a pessimistic point of view is.

I think that being realistic is looking at all of the situation, not glossing over the yucky parts, and seeing the good and the bad. Pessimistic is ALWAYS looking at JUST the bad. NEVER seeing any good. No matter what the situation, or the person being discussed.

What do you think? Agree or not?

Math and Reading skills

We had to run to the commissary today. We were almost out of milk, and I've been wanting to make chocolate chip cookies, and I needed brown sugar. We also picked up a baguette (well, what passes for a baguette here) and some ice cream. Our commissary has the self check out lines, which I love, so since we had only 5 items, that is where we headed. There are four, two for 30 items or less and two for 15 items or less. We got in the 15 items or less. There was a single guy in front of me, and in front of him, checking out was a couple. Who had at least 50 things. In the 15 items or less line. Seriously, can they not look in their cart and see they have more than 15 items? Can they not read the sign? There were several people behind me, who, like me being able to read and count, had 15 items or less. I mean, this couple was ringing up two full racks of ribs, other meat, all kinds of stuff. It would be one thing if it weren't, oh, the middle of the day on Saturday when the commissary is full. If it were late at night, and no one was there, I could understand that. I had to wait at least 5 minutes until there was something open. Seriously. And this is supposed to be faster than the other lines???? I wanted to point out the sign and remind them that they had triple the amount that they should. If I worked there, I would totally be the checkout nazi crazy lady. I wouldn't let them go through the line if they had ten items over the limit. OK if you have 16 or 17. Not going to quibble about something small like that. But your whole weeks worth of groceries???? Give me a break people. And they were moving slowly. Me with my five items (and two children) was done in about two minutes. And that included paying. From now on, no more commissary trips on Saturdays. Saving the $2 instead of tipping the bagger isn't worth it. Especially if you can afford to buy racks of ribs. Sheesh.

(for non military readers, the baggers do not work at the store. they only get paid by us shoppers. they bag our stuff and then walk us out and load up the car and then we tip them. i must say, i love this service having small children. i forget that other stores don't have this whenever i do shop at a regular store.)

I wanted to share

I found some cool things on Etsy, and I wanted to share with you! The first picture is a handbound journal that I bought. I LOVE it. Not only is it purple, but it is small, and it lays flat when you open it. Awesome. You can go here to see others that she has made.

The second is a print of an original painting that the artist has on Etsy. I bought this one too. But unlike my journal, she has more prints in her store!! Since there are a few other fellow France lovers that read this, I thought you guys would like it. I am very excited to frame it and hang it in my bedroom. Well, when I have a bedroom. (kind of pointless to do it here when I move in about 7 weeks)

I love etsy. I really really really really do. I have found some amazing things on there. And the artists are usually willing to make something specific for you. And yes, these are Christmas presents to myself. I'll just let Matt know.:) Oh, and have any of you heard of this website called ThinkGeek.com? That is where I'm getting Matt a few cool Christmas presents. Their stuff is right up his alley. Especially this. Just as long as he doesn't use it on me.

And I promise I will take a picture of my Christmas card and post it. I've made many, but I'm not finished with them yet. And for my kids, it's all about shopping on ebay and I already got Lucy this awesome dollhouse. I had a 10% off coupon too. Trying to keep things small and compact as we are moving, for the third year in a row, at Christmas time. At least this year, it will be after Christmas. At least I think it will.

Surprise for me

I went to DesignMom this afternoon and boy was I shocked to see that I had won in a giveaway!!!
I won these awesome french flashcards. These will be fun to save for a stocking stuffer for one of the kids. And OK, I just might open them and use them myself. :) And I'm going to check out delight.com to see if I can find some cool things for Christmas. Thanks delight.com and DesignMom!!!

I'm coming back just real quick

To say that CLORIS IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now DWTS can actually be a dancing competition instead of Cloris doing her comedy. While funny, it's not dancing. OK, thats all I wanted to say. Back to my break.......

It's time

For a break. I may come back now and then, but it's break time. I'll see you all soon.

This is why I love living in CA

Anyone that has read my blog knows that I love Dancing with the Stars. I watch it every week. My grandma also loves it. Last weekend my cousin Dustin went through the LA temple in preparation for his mission. My cousin blogged about it here. Afterwards, they went to Tito's in Culver City. Which is actual mexican food. (which doesn't exist where I currently live) And lo and behold, who was there but Julianne Hough. Here is a picture of my grandma with her. I don't know if she's happy because she is taking a picture with Julianne or because she just had great mexican food. Julianne was there with her mom. Having lunch. If I had been there, I am not sure what I would be more excited about. I guess if Tito's had fish taco's I might be more excited about the food. So, CA, I just might be coming soon. Make sure you have some great fish taco's for me, and it would be nice to actually meet a movie star after living there for twenty years......:)

Not enough

We found out yesterday afternoon where we will be spending the next few years of our lives. Which is great. We finally know. But we don't have orders. We don't have any dates. Nothing except a location. Which is almost worse than not knowing at all. Because with only two months before he graduates, we have to make plans. But we don't know enough to make any solid plans. So many variables. Matt has to go to officer training school. We have to drive about 3,000 miles to our new home. The waiting list to live on post in our new home is the longest we have experienced. And Matt has to physically be there to put us on the wait list. We don't know the area at all, but luckily have two military friends that are already there that can help us. Andrew needs to be in school. I am having a baby. AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
It's been a very overwhelming 36 hours. And today we found out that the military will only get Matt from here to his school. If he goes to our new place, we will have to put out the money to get him back over in this area. But I will be homeless when we get there. We could rent a place until we have a place on post. But I don't want to move twice. We could buy a house. Not to mention that my sister is getting married. TOO MANY DECISIONS!!!!!!! So, we are waiting for another tidbit of information that the army is willing to give to us. I have about 3 or 4 different plans of action currently in my head, trying to figure out which one will be the best. Sigh. Maybe next week things will be a little more clear.

Before I go to bed

I wanted to clarify something. Jen commented in my last post and ended with I hope that you will be able to find peace with your decision and trust in the Lord. And I got to thinking, did I sound like I was not at peace with our decision? Did I sound anxious about it? (cause we all know I have some major anxiety issues) I want to state that I am very much at peace with our decision to be in the military, or more specifically, the Army. I can't even go into the people we've met, experiences and opportunities that have been avaliable because of being in the military that otherwise would not have been there. Yes, my husband will deploy. Millions have done it before. Millions more will. The reality of deployment was in my face every day when we lived in San Antonio. Our street had a burn victim not to mention a kid across the street whose leg was blown up and when we left he was thinking of just taking off the whole thing. Every time I took the kids to the doctor we would see amputees every where. We had several people call the house (I was RS pres) and ask for blessings down at the hospital for their husband/son because they had lost limbs and/or been burned. I know that marriages break up over deployments. I know that there are families whose husbands do not come back. But I also know that this is the right place for us to be. It has given our family stability, health care, travel, and schooling opportunities. So, yes, military life is not suited to everyone. And whats too bad is many of them don't know it until they've already signed up. But not for us. This is the place for us. As we get closer to the end of this next enlistment (which won't be for a while) we will be reevaluating to make sure it is still the right place.

Big reality check

So, this morning I got a phone call from someone at church asking me to watch her daughter so that she could go and be with a friend who's husband was killed while deployed. This woman's family was coming in soon, but until then needed some support.

Needless to say this has triggered many thoughts in my head.

I have two other friends whose husbands have come home so altered from deployment (suffering from PTSD and one suffered a brain injury) that they are both currently separated from them. One of their husbands kicked her out. The problem is that they aren't getting the help that they need. They aren't going to a counselor. Neither is the one with the brain injury going to the center they have there especially for that so that he can get the help he needs. Both have children, and luckily one has a degree and the other will have hers shortly.

We haven't had to think about deployment for a very long time. Actually, it has never been something we've ever had to deal with to this point. He did go to Iraq for a week while he was in the chorus to perform for the soldiers. That was the week of Christmas. But for the last five and a half years, being deployed was not a reality for us.

When Matt decided to do Physicians Assistant school, we knew it was only a matter of time, once he was done with school and his officers courses, that he would be deployed. In his job, he would mostly be caring for the wounded. Saving lives really. Which I am intensely proud of. He will be helping these soldiers to get back to their families. There is the possibility of him having to go out with the medics at different times. So, that part is scary. But, that is my reality. He will rarely be shot at or even have to shoot. But see, I think about this. I feel if I don't, when the time comes (which it could come as early as this summer depending on where we go) I won't be ready. I will be a mess. And I can't do that. Yeah, it will be hard, difficult, horrible even. But when you join the military, that is part of our lives. His mom refuses to even discuss it. Won't think about it at all. Which is really going to hurt her in the end.

So, today as I watch my friends daughter, I will have many thoughts going through my mind. And I hope as I see my friends around me dealing with things that I can learn and take from it as much as I can so that when my turn comes up, I'm as ready as I can be.

No control at all

I am going a bit crazy over here. First, we keep getting told "oh, you'll know by tomorrow where you're going". Yeah, right. Stop pulling my chain and stop messing with peoples lives and freaking just tell us so that I can plan. Seriously. My sister has recently gotten engaged and has chosen the worst date ever to get married. My other sister actually chose a worse date (it ended up being the day after I came home from my mission) but I had no control over that. This time, I've been told that one of the reasons her date was chosen was because two of her best/favorite ROOM MATES would be able to be there. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but if she is consulting her ROOM MATES why wasn't her SISTER consulted????????? My husband graduates three days after she gets married. Both dates are WAY TOO CLOSE to Christmas. Which means, if I wanted to go to said wedding I would have to find about $1500 for all of us to get there. That's saying Matt could go. Or if we could even go. Because we might be moving. Again. My parents were also planning on coming to visit us next month. But my dad takes the longest time to do things. Turns out he might have made a good choice. He called today and said that he would rather help pay for us to come to my sisters wedding than spend the money to come out here. But can I do anything about anything?? No. Because I don't know if we're moving. Am I whining? Yes. I cannot be upset about this tomorrow. Because I give myself a certain amount of time to be angry about something. That way I can get it out. I just hate being out of control. And while I'm at my whining, I just want to add that maternity pants really need to be made longer. I have a 36 inch inseam people. Why does everyone stop at 34???? I need those two extra inches. I'm making do with what I've got, but I'm hoping those belly bands I bought are going to help me wear my regular pants (which of course are 36 inches) so that I don't look retarded. Also, why is Cloris still on DWTS???? I am never able to watch it so that I can vote. Sigh. Tomorrow there will be no whining or complaining or anger. In fact, there are a few things that are making me laugh right now. Like how my SIL called and said that my FIL was in the hospital with ammonia. I thought, um, did he walk in carrying some? Or did he drink it? Or sniff it?? I repeated "he has pneumonia" and she said yeah, ammonia. Sigh. I had a good laugh at that one. I've been laughing at that one since Saturday.

Pure self inflicted torture

I just spent the last half hour watching Rick Steve's Europe as he was in the Dordogne River Valley. And while I loved every minute of it, the longing I felt to go back there and live that life. And while my French is slowly going down the tubes, I still feel like I could live there without problem. I will live there again someday. I just don't know when. Why do I torture myself? I don't know. Maybe to remind myself that I won't live here forever. Or just to be jealous of Rick because his job is to travel and eat amazing food, and at the same time get to share it with all who watch his videos. Just not fair.

I'm up because

Those d*#@ palmetto (read roaches) are in my house again. I've found a few here and there. And tonight I got up to turn off the lights and close the computer, and there was another one. In the time it took to get shoes on and to grab the raid, that nasty thing had hidden. But I'm smarter than they are. I know that if I wait long enough, they come out. And then they die. Die die die die die. And then when they are dead, I get my rubber gloves, three sheets of paper towels and dispose of it. If for no other reason, I want to leave here so that I can be free of these things. I have a few other reasons too. And a few reasons to want to stay. And I also got a late night phone call. But that phone call will have to wait for another post. At least until I've wrapped my mind around it. And while I'm mentioning random things, I've been watching a lot of Sleeping Beauty lately. Does anyone else just love Merriweather?? I love how she just tells it how it is. And how she doesn't want Aurora to have a pink dress. I think she is my favorite part of the whole movie. And now I'm going to sleep.

Driving while listening to country music is dangerous

I don't do a lot of driving around town. Mostly because we are a one car family this year. (yes, it's hard and yes, I can't wait until we get another car) When I do drive, I do like to listen to music. And a lot of the stations around here are country. But I seem to have the worst luck. For a while, every time I turned on country music, there was that song about the soldier writing from deployment and then you figure out he's died, and he's reassuring his family that he's ok. Seriously, how is one supposed to drive when listening to that? Yesterday that song didn't come on (thank goodness or people would have thought something was wrong with me. who gets out of their car with red teary eyes?) But on the way home, I heard that song about "you're gonna miss this", and then another song about a guy talking to a 100 year old man and how he says "don't blink". Come on. What would it look like when I roll down my window to give the guard my ID to get back on post crying my eyes out?? I managed to keep it under control. But we're going to have to limit my country music intake. Especially now. Although Jodee Macina's song about wanting to be around to watch when the guy gets dumped "to leave you with your fire burning and no way to put it out" (my favorite line) was a good way to even out the emotions of the afternoon. Country music causes water to develop in the eyes and prohibits them from seeing properly. Which you kind of need to do while driving. Friends don't let friends listen to country music while driving.

It's that time

When I start seriously thinking about Christmas. I've started making my Christmas cards. This past summer I made birthday calendars as gifts. Calendars that do not have the days of the week, just the days of the month that you can use year after year to keep track of birthdays, anniversaries, and any other important thing you want to remember year after year. I also want to give these awesome reusable bags as gifts to my family as a reminder that we need to take care of our earth. I want to get me some too.:) For the rest of my gifts, I'm going to try and use Etsy as much as I can. I'm also going to make some ornaments to give away too. I've decided to stop buying regular wrapping paper. I'm switching to brown paper. It is cheaper, I can use it for any holiday or occasion, and I can dress it up by using cool ribbon or twine along with a homemade tag. And you can recycle that stuff. I actually got some great green twine at Hobby Lobby for super cheap. And it will last a long time. I don't know yet what I'll get for my kids. I do have an idea for Matt. And for what I want???? I just want to be in my own home for once at Christmas. And maybe not move until after Christmas. So that I can use my decorations and ornaments. If not, this will be the third year that we won't be in our own home at Christmas. I don't think I can handle that a third time. Because Santa has a hard time showing up in a hotel room where we're all sleeping in the same room. And I've bought candles. A peppermint one, hot spiced cider, and pumpkin pie. My house will smell fabulous. I can't wait.

Tagged again

MommyK at The Great Walls of Baltimore tagged me for the six random things meme. I'm supposed to list six insignificant details about myself and tag six other people.

1. When I see people that have bad haircuts and dress badly, I give them a make over in my head. I fix their hair, change their shoes and give them a new outfit. And they just look so much better. And I do the same thing to myself. Especially right now when I really really need a haircut.

2. My mom made me take piano lessons when I was little. As I got older, oh I think around 9 or 10 I really started to hate it. She still made me do it. Going into high school, I started to like it. But I am no soloist. I am an accompanist. Playing solos is a lot more difficult for me than playing for someone to sing. I actually LOVE playing for a person that can sing well. I do not like playing for congregations much because they follow the piano rather than me following them. So I always try and play quicker than it should be because they will drag me down with them.

3. I hate getting my hands dirty. I use gloves to do the dishes and to clean the bathroom. If I had to do yard work, I would use gloves too. I just REALLY hate being dirty.

4. I'm a closet crier. I hate crying when there are people around. I also am very uncomfortable when others start to cry. Especially if I don't know them terribly well. I cry when I watch movies, sometimes commercials, and some TV shows. I get very involved with what I watch. Which is why I have to be very careful about the things I watch. But if I know the person well, I can be a sympathetic crier.

5. I've only been to one real concert my entire life. I saw Micheal Damien perform at the Weber County Fair though one year, but I don't count that. My real concert was watching Big Bad Voodoo Daddy open for Steve Miller at the Greek Theater in LA. We watched them open, tried to watch Steve Miller, and got bored. I love their music, but talk about visually boring. Just a bunch of old guys wearing too tight pants and leather vests and some lights. But I was wearing a short skirt and I was with two guys. Not that I had anything for either of them, but it was fun.

6. I have a hard time when there are a lot of conflicting noises around me. For example, people talking while the TV is loud and the dishwasher is on. Or when my husband tries to sing along with songs but doesn't sing the words right with it, but after it because he doesn't know the song. Or when he makes up words. Or when my kids are screaming in the house. I just hate it. I feel like my head is going to explode.

People I tag:
Shell
Rachel
Jessica
Heidi
Monica
Amanda

Tagged

I was tagged by Nicole to do this. And I think Rachel tagged me too. And since I'm lazy, I'm not even going to link to them.

1. Do you like blue cheese? one of the few cheeses that i do not like
2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? no. gross. nasty.
3. Do you own a gun? never even held one. but i've seen plenty.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? i usually just get rootbeer. but when i read the question i could totally go for one of their slushies. but matt's not home.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? no
6. What do you think of hot dogs? we have a love/hate relationship
7. Favorite Christmas Song? honestly, i really like so many of them...i actually will play them all year because i like them. but i like the original french version of angels we have heard on high
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? anything that won't make me dry heave
9. Can you do push-ups? maybe.
10. What is your favorite movie? i can't choose. too many good ones.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? my engagement ring. probably because no one else has anything like it.
12. Favorite hobby? cross stitching, blogging (is that a hobby?), making christmas cards....
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? i doubt my children idolize me as they have no idea what that means. but they are always excited to see me, even when i've just gone to the store.
14. Do you have ADD? sometimes i think i do
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? things come out of my mouth that i don't always filter first.
16. What’s your middle name? no middle name
17. Name three thoughts at this moment: i wish my kids would go to sleep-why the heck did andrew put toothpaste in lucy's hair-i really hope it doesn't rain tomorrow
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: nothing. didn't leave my house and no online shopping. (that was this morning.)
19. Current worry right now? when is matt going to get his grades for internal medicine? when are we going to know if we stay or if we go??????
21. Current hate right now? uncomfortable clothes
22. Favorite place to be? it's a tie between sitting on a beach in so cal, or shopping at a flea market in france.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? we were in a hotel (again) for new years and i can't remember if we stayed up or not.
24. Where would you like to go? oh. so many places. you got ten minutes?
25. Name three people who will complete this? ones that want to
26. Whose answer do you want to read the most?
27. What color shirt are you wearing? a light peachy color
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? i don't like slippery stuff while i sleep. and plus, satin doesn't breathe like cotton does
29. Can you whistle? Yes
30. Favorite color? purple
31. Would you be a pirate? no. too dirty, food would suck, and i'm no good with a bayonet.
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? i don't sing in the shower
33. Favorite girl’s name? lucy
34. Favorite boy’s name? andrew
35. What’s in your pocket right now? no pockets in my skirt
36. Last thing that made you laugh? reading Freddy and Fredericka.
37. Best bed sheets as a child? we didn't have any good ones. in fact, i think my mom still has the same ones.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? i was in a car accident (number 2 of 5) and glass cut my elbow and i had to have stitches. and then three weeks later, a piece of glass came out of my elbow. fun times.
39. What is your favorite snack? things that don't make me dry heave
40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? cross stitch
41. Who is your loudest friend? i think it's a tie between julie and monica
42. How many dogs do you have? no dogs here. just not a dog girl.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? ha. that would be funny
45. What is your favorite book? (where was #44?) gone with the wind
46. What is your favorite candy? rootbeer licorice from sprouts. jelly bellys. and pretty much any licorice from sprouts. and almost any chocolate not made in the USA. because thats not really chocolate.
47. What is your favorite sports team? well, as a family we are lakers fans and angels fans. although i think it's dumb that they've renamed the angels as the los angeles angels. when they are at least 50 miles away from los angeles. seriously people.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? i don't think about my funeral.
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? finishing watching a law and order
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? why is matt still home? (he is usually out of the house before any of us open our eyes)

The Winner!!!!!!

A few posts ago I asked my readers to take a guess at why I'm so darn tired. Granted, some of my oh, what, 6 readers, knew why I am tired. But Mary Alice won!!!! Her comment was You're pregnant. That always wore me plum out. She was the first to get it right, with An Ordinary Mom coming in second. Although Heidi's comment was the most creative. She said Because you were up all night figuring out a way to save our economy.

I was planning on going to our little craft store here on post, after our playgroup, where they have all kinds of cool military (OK, mostly Army and Air Force stuff with a lot of Airborne thrown in) stuff. But alas, my plans were thwarted by a husband that needed the car and told me before 7am. While still in bed. Barely awake. I was going to get something very appropriately military for Mary Alice (her being an Air Force wife and all). I was then going to take a picture of it and post it for all to see how lucky she is. So, the picture will have to wait. And Mary Alice, email me with your address (terinaj at yahoo dot com) and I hope to manage to get to the post office and mail it off. Once I actually have it.

Yes, yes. Pregnant. Yesterday was 14 weeks. Yes, I'm showing. When you're on child number 3 your uterus automatically balloons out in anticipation. Yes, I'm uncomfortable and am starting to wear maternity clothes already because it doesn't hurt my stomach. But I did just buy some belly bands on ebay so I might be able to make my regular jeans last a while longer. Yes, I am actually sick this time. I have never come so close to throwing up as I have in the last few days. I actually thought it was getting better. Wrong. It really sucks when you dry heave while trying to brush your teeth. Or when you're trying to cut up raw chicken for dinner. No, we have not thought of any names. Usually I just choose the name and tell Matt what it is. I have to go through all kinds of crap to get these kids in the world. I figure I'm allowed to name them. His mother tried to suggest a middle name for Lucy while I was either in recovery or during labor. Um, no. And it was her name. Um, an even bigger no. This time there will not be as much difficulty as the last two. It will be scheduled, planned, and hopefully as smooth as these sort of things can go. And yes, I do think I know what it is. I think it's a boy. Never mind about my reasons. (some aren't exactly appropriate for posting)

And I'm still tired.

Funny

Some of my family members back home took my Grandma out on a date. They were going to go and see the play Bye Bye Birdie, but the local paper did not give it good reviews. So Grandma decided just to go to dinner. I've never heard of the place they went to eat. But there is a pretty funny picture of my dad over on her post. Speaking of my parents, they are coming to visit next month. I am starting now to try and get the office cleaned out so they can have a room. Right now it has few suitcases in it, the ironing board with the iron on it, a few piles of books, a bike trainer, a set of racing wheels, and a few other things. I figure if I start now, I'll have a month to do it in, and it won't be overwhelming.

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about our little guessing game. Been thinking about what to do for the winner. By tomorrow, I should have something up.

This is freaking awesome

When I checked the news stories this morning, I saw this. I'm sure most of you remember the first time he was on trial in Los Angeles. I was a senior in high school at the time. I didn't watch much of the trial, but it was pretty much the only thing that was on. Especially since we lived about 40 miles from Los Angeles. The day he was acquitted, we were all in school. I was on my way from 2cd period to 3rd. I had stayed in 2cd to watch the jury decision, and was a bit late to 3rd. As I was walking to class, there were several classrooms with students coming out celebrating. And they were all black. I don't think they really understood. That it wasn't about him being black, it was about the fact that he killed a woman. And got away with it. Not only was the evidence collected badly, but I think the courts had in their minds the LA riots that had happened about five years earlier. Between investigators that didn't do their job and the history of LA, he walked. And while I was only a teenager and didn't really understand much of it (my parents didn't even watch the trial, well, maybe they did and I didn't know) I knew the guy was guilty. It is SO gratifying that he will now be behind bars. Even if it is in Vegas.

Conference Weekend

This weekend is our churches semi annual General Conference, which is broadcast all over the world. It got me thinking about an October conference nine years ago. I was in France, not even there for a month, not understanding the language very well, my trainer was from a teeny town in Utah (Beaver. seriously. Beaver.) and I was not happy. Even though I was in France. We went to Bayonne for it since our little building in Tarbes didn't have what was needed to get it. My mission, as it is for many others, was a bit of a crucible for me. To see what I was made of. Sitting there, I heard this talk. And it was like it was spoken right to me. As I am rereading it now, nine years later, I still get a bit emotional. Partly because this is still very applicable in my life. And I think it can apply to us all. No matter what our faith. Here are some bits and pieces of his talk.

On those days when we have special need of heaven's help, we would do well to remember one of the titles given to the Savior in the epistle to the Hebrews. Speaking of Jesus' "more excellent ministry" and why He is "the mediator of a better covenant" filled with "better promises," this author--presumably the Apostle Paul--tells us that through His mediation and Atonement, Christ became "an high priest of good things to come."¹

Every one of us has times when we need to know things will get better. Moroni spoke of it in the Book of Mormon as "hope for a better world."² For emotional health and spiritual stamina, everyone needs to be able to look forward to some respite, to something pleasant and renewing and hopeful, whether that blessing be near at hand or still some distance ahead. It is enough just to know we can get there, that however measured or far away, there is the promise of "good things to come."

Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed.

I can't copy and paste the whole thing here, but this is the basic part of his talk, saying that there is hope, that He can see the silver lining even when we cannot. But I highly suggest you go here and read the whole thing. I love his personal story at the end. I wish you could hear him give this talk in person.

At that particular point, it gave me the motivation that I needed. That I could speak French. That the rain wouldn't kill me. That I could get along with this small town girl (cause I'm a city girl). That I wouldn't lose my mind and that I would survive. And now, it gives me hope that if I keep trying to do things in the Lords way, the things that I'm dealing with will get better. Who knows when, but it will. And it will for you, too.

Nothing

Not a thing. We still don't know where we're going. Although it sounds like we'll be staying here. Which just might kill me. But we'll get a different house, hopefully a better and bigger one. But we'll see. I guess we still have to wait. Sigh

Exercising and the perils of neighborhood gyms

On post here, we have neighborhood centers. Inside them are the local housing office for that specific neighborhood. They also have a kitchen, eating area, game rooms, movie rooms, a half a basketball court complete with the basket and a gym area. In the gym area there are a many different machines (treadmills, stair steppers, ellipticals) and a universal machine, with a couple of machines that help you do sit ups and leg lift things. The basketball court and the gym area are right next to each other, and you can see into the rooms because of the large windows. The large windows also look into the kids play area, where the kids can see you exercising, and you them. I love these things. It makes my workouts so much easier. The kids can play (and there is TV in there, usually on noggin or PBS) and I can exercise. And behind the building is a neighborhood pool.

These are great things. I happen to live where I can walk to two of them. One of them is my neighborhood center, and the other one is the neighborhood across the street. Mine is right next to the school. And at first the plan was to drop off Andrew, then walk across the street and exercise. The problem is there are only so many machines, and lots of people. So, a friend and I decided to walk to the other one, where there aren't so many people, and we'll be able to use the machines that we want.

Well, the last few times have been interesting. There is a group of three moms that are usually already there when we get there. Which is fine. Their kids are playing, and from what we can tell, it doesn't look like any of them have school going children. Considering they are there before we are, and all the kids in these two neighborhoods go to the same school. Maybe they are older and walk on their own, but I don't know. The TV's are the problem. Both of them are set to VH1. Granted, VH1 is much tamer than MTV, although watching either of them seems like a huge waste of time. The songs are dumb, the volume is high, and I feel dumb just watching it. I brought my CD player this morning, hoping that it would block it out, but the CD kept skipping and that was driving me crazy. So we're stuck having to watch VH1. And this morning, the other moms behaviors were a bit strange. One mom was complaining about Lucy chasing one of the little girls around, trying to take her toy. OK, probably not a good thing, but I'm not a mom that intervenes over every little thing. I was exercising. I only get half an hour on that machine, I don't want to waste it by having to get off of it for every dumb thing that the little kids can't deal with. Looking again, they were trying to put together the train tracks, and the other little girl had the train, and within less than 30 seconds, they had somehow communicated that to her and the little girl brought the train over without any problems. Then Lucy was chasing another little girl because it looked as if she wanted the book. Shortly after that, one of the moms took all the kids out and took them into the basketball court to play. Could be that she was just done with her exercising, or she didn't want the kids playing with ours. I have no idea. A few other strange things happened, and then abruptly, they all left.

My friend and I looked at each other in a bit of a shock. It was pretty obvious by their behavior that they weren't happy that we were there. Maybe they didn't like what we were discussing (me moving and the fact Matt is going officer soon, the crappy houses they have here on post), maybe they didn't like that we were just there, maybe they didn't like that our kids were playing with theirs. I have no idea. I guess tomorrow we'll see if it happens again. But tomorrow I'm going to try and change one of the TV's. If I have to watch something, I would much rather watch Good Morning America, The Today Show, or even the local news. Once they left, we turned off the TV's and boy, that silence sure sounded good. Maybe it is my low tolerance for loud things. I don't know.

Bottom line is they are not going to keep me from exercising. I'll try and fix my CD player so that it doesn't skip. And I'll be polite when I change one of the TV's to something else. I'll talk to Lucy about sharing and to use our words instead of chasing. But that is all I can do. If they still have a problem.....oh well. And I'm still sweaty now, so I'm off to shower.

AHHHHH!!! The suspense......

This morning my husband told me that we should know where we're going by Friday. FRIDAY!!!!! Two days away!!!!! Hopefully I can keep myself busy enough so that Friday will get here quick. I am terrified that we'll stay here. Or that we get Alaska. Or that we get some random tiny post with nothing around it. I'm not worried about if Matt will be deployed because I'm assuming that he will be deployed no matter where it is we go. I'm just worried about what my sanity might be in a dark place. Or a really cold place. Or a really small place. Any guesses where?