Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Greatest tampon commercial EVER

I hate commercials. Every day I am thankful for our DVR so that I can fast forward through them. But tonight, as I was watching Glee, I saw this. I was crying I was laughing so hard. The awesomeness of this is indescribable. Enjoy.

How to suck it up Army style

I was talking to a slightly new-ish friend tonight. We hadn't talked in a while and we were catching up a bit on what was going on. And she was sharing her husbands schedule for the next year or so.

See, her husband is deployed with mine. And they also recently had their first anniversary. She is fairly new to the whole Army wife thing. His schedule for the next year is pretty hairy. Back and forth for this thing and that...she wants to bring her son to live with them, but is uncertain....doesn't understand why he wants to do this training course and this and that........pretty much the same old same old when you're in the Army. And she is frustrated, angry, and the rest of the feelings that come with that. And tonight she was sharing that with me.

I completely get it. I get the anger. I get the frustration. But being the old hat that I am (we're going on 7 years) with this Army wife thing, I am in a very different place than she is. And while I sympathized with her, and said YES! it does suck, and I'm sorry that it is frustrating for you. BUT suck it up my friend. And I tried to say it nicer than that, but it pretty much came out that way.

Because really, that is the life of the Army. They have to go. When you choose to join the Army (Or whatever other branch of the military) you have to take the good with the bad. For your regular paycheck, health care, housing allowance etc. you have to say goodbye to your husband an awful lot. More often than you want, and it sucks. But this is the life that you have. And there is little you can do to change it until your time is up.

I think my friend will get it. She is so new to this whole thing. She is still in the I'm angry phase. She will eventually move to the accepting phase, then to the I get that there is nothing I can do about it phase. It takes some time.

There are some instances where you do need to fight the All-Powerful-Army. You have to pick and choose them. So far, our fight was when my son had his surgery and the orders I got were only for me and my son to fly. Me being pregnant and fly back to the states to take my son to have head reconstruction surgery. Yeah, whatever Army. You WILL fly my husband with me. And we fought it. Our unit, seeing the wisdom in what we were doing, fully supported us, and even paid for his ticket and did everything in their power to get him there with me. It was worth it to fight it. But there are some fights that are not worth it. That is when you just suck it up and move on.

It is hard to do it. You don't want to. You want to FIGHT that All-knowing-entity that is the Army, Navy, Marines.....You cry, you yell at your husband, but it's not like he can do anything about it either. In the end, you resign yourself. And hopefully you learn from it. So that the next time a pile of crap gets dumped on you (because it will) you will know if it's time to stand up and fight, or if it's time to let out a big sigh and start looking for a new place to live, or gearing yourself up for another deployment, or......

I think it is harder for those wives that don't learn. That waste all this time in getting angry and making everyone around them unhappy, and nothing changes, nothing gets accomplished. And in the end, they wasted the time they should have spent in calling the movers, getting the house ready, and making sure your medical records go with them.

And now, since my washer stopped and I got the jeans in the dryer so that I can wake up to dry jeans (hopefully) I am going to go to bed. And get on with the resigned part of my life that is, oh, pretty much every day.

Just a few more months...(say it with me......) just a few more.........

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Remember my post a while back about a new sectional? We went and looked at that one. But then we found this one.

And the ottoman of course. Both sides of the ottoman flip over and there is storage inside. I love it.

And this is my new tablecloth.

I LOVE it. love love love. I love the colors, I love the pattern. And Friday I picked up these Gerber daisy's and the colors went perfectly with my new tablecloth.

It is a little long, but now I have a tablecloth for when we use the two leaves for the table.

I think it looks awesome.

As a side note, I find myself in love with patterns and colors like this. I need curtains for our bedroom, and they need to be a solid color. But everything that catches my eye is a pattern. And my bedspread is already a pattern. Sigh. If only everything could have a pattern on it. Or maybe I should just hire an interior decorator. (HA! like that would ever happen.)

Dang it

Man. I am frustrated.

I discovered just a few days after my husband left that my left ankle is swollen. Not a ton, it isn't bruised or red or super noticeable. But it is swollen. I've iced it. I do my best to keep off of it. But how can I really stay off of it? I am the only parent, and my kids aren't old enough to get things or do things without my help.

This also means no running. Only low impact exercise. I have been working so dang hard to just run period. And now I have to wait until my ankle heals from whatever is the problem.

I haven't run since Thursday. And it is still swollen, and slightly painful. I guess I just might have to go to the doctor.

Saturday, April 24, 2010


Just wanted to share this link.

And to tell you that I miss my husband.

updated: Just realized that after you read the link you might make a few conclusions about it. And just to be clear, NO that link has nothing to do with my husband other than it's connection to Afghanistan. Nothing else.

But I do still miss him.

Monday, April 19, 2010


(some will be a little lengthy. sorry.)

~After living in the civilian world for many months now, I am very aware of how different each world is. Many of my friends can just call up their husbands whenever needed. Many are able to leave, they can spend time talking to their spouse. In the military world you can't just call your spouse anytime you want. They can't always leave. Lots of times it's at the whim of their chain of command. Friends husbands would be down the street but unable to talk to their spouse for days because of the 'mission'. And then there is deployment. I have a very very small window each day that I am able to talk to my husband. And that is if it isn't raining there (because when it rains, the phones and internet stop working) and the connection is decent. And even with that I know I am one of the lucky ones. There are many husbands who can't call home every day, or won't. We usually talk on Skype, which has been awesome. But even using that, we still have to pay up to $100 a month just for him to have his internet connection. Some soldiers can't afford that. Morale calls are limited in time, and will cut you off mid sentence if you aren't listening for the beep. It is especially difficult when there is a big decision to be made. For this girl who loves communication, not being able to do it when I want to is difficult.

~R&R felt like a fairy tale. In fact, my husband was the one that brought that up. He said that midnight had to come, and everything had to go back to the way it was eventually. Saying goodbye this time seemed so difficult. I was very emotional, and he couldn't understand why. Heck, I didn't even know. It could have been hormones. But now I think it was something else. In the many months since he has been gone, I've gotten into a groove. We have a schedule, I had gotten to a place where I had put those feelings in a box and was in Just Function mode. And even though I daydream about what having him home would be like, I had forgotten it a little. Ok, a lot. Having him home threw all that off. All those feelings, emotions were all there, out of the box and making me Feel things. I mean, just the fact that I could reach over and hold his hand was amazing. Our nightly routine of foot rubs (for me) and back rubs (for him) started right up again. I got this for such a short time. And then it left. And I think that is what I was so upset about. It's been a few days and I still feel like I am recovering.

~I am a sentimental dork. My husband will be back in just a few more months. But I don't want to take his towel down. I don't want to take the clothes he put near his sink and put them in the laundry. I want to sleep on his pillow instead of mine. I even want to leave out a cup he used for water instead of put it in the dishwasher. Is this normal? I don't even know. I feel like an idiot for even admitting it here.

~I have been going to the gym a lot. I have been able to run 2.5 miles in 30 minutes!! While there was walking in there, I am pretty darn proud of myself. I still don't enjoy running. My chest hurts, my mouth gets this weird stuff in it, and I feel like my legs are so obviously overly long. But I love how my muscles feel from my hip down my leg. My husband suggested running on my toes, and when I get into a good groove, I feel like a gazelle. I have also gained half an inch on my toothpick like arms. After six months of going to the gym regularly, I don't have too much to show for it if you're just looking at me. But when I have to run or I take the kids out on their bikes, my stamina has improved a lot. I can do push ups without feeling like I'm going to die. Plus, I've made new friends there. And when you move a lot like me, you can use all the friends you can get.

~Since we've been in the Army, I have learned that deployments can make or break a soldier. It can also make or break the spouse too. So far, it is making, not breaking, my soldier. While many of the reasons are very personal, he has a clearer perspective about many things. His communication (well, at least to me) has improved. Deployment sucks at so many different levels (Like when kids are sick, or when on Saturday night your smoke alarm starts making noise and you can't just run out and pick up a 9 volt battery before Sunday because you can't leave your kids at home alone so you just suffer through it until you post something about it on facebook and a nice neighbor brings you a battery Sunday afternoon. But it would have been nice to have been able to run to the store really quick that Saturday night.) but it is worth all this pain and difficulty if it makes us both grow as people and grow as a couple. Just a few more months......

~My head hurts. Listening to Diane Reim(s?) on NPR late at night is not advisable when you have a headache.

Sunday, April 18, 2010


It seems, these last few months, that my comments have slowly been dwindling.

I used to live for comments, and any comment would be so exciting. I would hope for comments, and would be a little bit disappointed when some of my posts wouldn't receive any.

Normally the whole purpose of a blog, while it is to share your thoughts with whoever reads your blog, is for the comments. We crave recognition for our thoughts and feelings, and comments give us an ego boost.

In the last little while I have gotten very, very few comments. And at first I thought I would feel let down, or sad. I feel exactly the opposite! I feel free. Free to say what I like without anyone telling me I'm wrong or right. Without comments I feel less restricted in what I say. And maybe that is a bad thing. But oh well.

This is still my blog, my little space for my thoughts, whatever they might be. And of course you are still welcome to leave comments. I am hoping that with this new freedom I feel, I might post a little more. It will be nice to have this outlet again for discussing how I feel. We'll see how it goes........

Saturday, April 17, 2010


Today, it sucks. It just does.

These last two weeks were my husbands R&R. Which means that for just over two weeks, he got to come home and be with his family. We purposely scheduled it towards the end, because we knew it would make it a little easier because we only have a few months left.

Yeah, that is a bunch of crap.

Well, slightly. As I drove home from the airport this morning, I realized that I am going to have keep telling myself over and over again 'just a few more months' and then eventually I will start to believe it.

I have plenty of things lined up to keep us busy. Two trips up to Seattle before the end of the month, a trip to Portland at the end of next month. A big trip home for my brothers wedding. And then a friend might be coming up here right before he gets home for good.

While he was here, we did some pretty fun stuff. We took the kids to the science museum in Seattle that we have a pass to. We went to the inside pools on post and he and the kids went swimming. We got two nights out alone, plus an entire day that we went to the temple. The kids first soccer games were this week, and he got to watch them. He got to use his electric razor and got to sleep in a comfortable bed. Eat fresh food, and ride his bike.

Overall, it was a good thing. My kids were ecstatic to have their dad home. He took them out so they could ride their bikes. Oh how they NEEDED this. I needed this.

I think I should start a countdown calendar.

And now I am going to take a nap. Being up at 4am is never fun. Especially on a day like this.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Some things I like

I know I have talked here about how much I love etsy. Thought I would share some of my favorite things I have found on there.

I found these Welcome to Relief Society cards that I thought were pretty awesome. When I was 18, and going into RS, having a card like this would have gone a long way to helping me feel like I fit in a little bit more. If I am ever in the Relief Society presidency again, I will be getting these cards to give to the girls coming out of Young Womens. (my favorite part is what it says on the inside.)

I love this necklace. I don't even wear all that much jewelry. But it is so simple, I would probably actually wear this.

I love these cards. I have often thought of sending one to my husband, but he wouldn't think it is as cute as I do. So it would pretty much be wasted. But I still like it.

Ok, now these next two necklaces I would probably never ever wear. I have nothing that would go with them. I don't even have a good reason to want them. I just love them. (here is this one and the other one.)

I especially like the big orange flower on this one.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

All of me

There is just something about this song. I don't know what it is, but I just love it. I have a few of his CD's, and I love them. I also have his books, but obviously, he dumbs his songs down for the rest of us. So enjoy. And if you care to share, tell me what you like about this song.

Do you?

Do you ever feel good? Even when you normally wouldn't?

Tomorrow our home teachers are coming over.

My kitchen is a disaster. Stuff all over the counters. My desk (which is in the kitchen) is a mess.

My living room is also a disaster. As is the dining room table that has a very pretty but sad and dirty table cloth on it that really needs to be washed.

I still haven't finished the laundry that I started yesterday. Our loft/playroom is also a disaster.

My van is full of boxes to be taken to the recycle center on post.

Yet with all this, I feel good.

It is inexplicable. Well, not completely. There are a few reasons. One of which is that I went to the temple today. The other is that the sun was out!!!!! The others....well, I can't really share those here.

I am certain tomorrow will be full of folding clothes, vacuuming, my purple rubber gloves and attempts at organizing. But our home teachers aren't coming to see our house, they are coming to see us.

And. I am pretty sure the sun will be back tomorrow. Amazing what the sun will do, isn't it.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

The future

We've been talking recently about our future. (as in my husband and I) Do we stay in the Army? Do we get out? Where do we move? Will he specialize in anything? If we stay in, where do we want to try to go? We do have an if-the-stars-align-and-pigs-fly plan that we hope for. But knowing the Army, it won't happen.

But this talk has gotten me thinking. And a little nervous. Once getting in the Army was terrifying. And now getting out is doing the same thing to me. Do we really want to be civilians? What would that feel like? Where would we move if we got out? What would it be like to stay in one place for years??

So, why do I like the Army? Well, for one thing, the paycheck will always show up. And we have health care insurance. I know my way around in the Army. I love having access to the commissary, the PX, military discounts. And then there is the little bit of pride I have of knowing what my husband is doing. While I hate the packing and unpacking parts of moving, I love meeting new friends, visiting new places and being able to give my kids great experiences all over the place. There is also the added bonus of not living near our family. I have found that with most of my family members, seeing them for only a few weeks out of the year is better than seeing them every week all year. The potential for problems increase the more times we see each other. And since I would rather keep our encounters on the positive side, it works out better this way. (after living there for four months last year, I know this is wisdom on my part.) Plus, there is the added bonus of them getting to travel somewhere new to come and visit us.

And now the other side: the positives of getting out. No more deployments. WE get to choose where we live rather than the Army telling us where to go. My kids getting to go to the same school for years instead of for just one year. Being able to buy a house and put down roots somewhere. My husband having regular hours. That elusive feeling of unpacking and knowing you won't have to pack up again for years and years. (man, what would that be like???) We would still live far away from family. (I know this sounds nuts, and you're probably wondering what is wrong with my family, or what is wrong with me. I tend to think that it's a little of both, and me trying to keep things healthy and setting appropriate boundaries so that we still have a working relationship. Well, with most of them anyway.)

Sometimes I wish that we didn't have to make the choice. But then being able to have that choice is a huge gift. While the time has not yet come for that choice, if we don't start thinking now, it will come up and bite us in the behind and we won't be prepared for it. (As a side note, I really love choices. I love that we are all so different and that there is not one way for all of us, there is our own way, whatever that might be.)

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter Sunday thoughts

A few months ago, I was asked to speak in church. My topic was Heavenly Father knows us and blesses us in our trials.

That was a very tough topic for me. Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because it was very personal. I was right in the middle of one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do (being a single parent while my husband is deployed while dealing with the leftovers of some other issues). And not only that, I didn't feel that it was appropriate for me to go into great detail about MY trials, and forget about what the scriptures actually teach us. And so I didn't.

But do you believe that? The He does bless you? That He knows you?

What made this topic extra personal to me is that I do believe it. And for myself, I know it.

I also know that there are blessings, huge blessings, on the other side of those trials.

This is huge for me. And I want to document it, hence the blogging of this.

Sometimes, in the midst of great difficulty, I start to fall apart. I can't see to the other side of what is going on, and things start to spiral down down down. And I really struggle to get myself back up. I feel like there will be no end. And that there will be nothing good that will come of it. But in just the last 18 months, the things that I have had to deal with -and boy were they some humdingers of problems and trials- there have been good things. Nothing tangible, but perhaps personal growth, a change in the right direction, a glimpse into what the bigger picture is that He has for me. I have also learned that I need to ask for help. Because contrary to what I would like to believe, I cannot do it all on my own. At the same time, I have learned how strong I really am! What I can do, and that the spiral down does not have to happen if I don't let it. Amazing, isn't it.

What does this do for me? It gives me hope. Hope for the next time that something comes up, and I start to feel things pushing me down, that I can remember these things I have learned and keep myself up. Maybe be able to endure a little better the next time around. Have a bigger perspective.

And those are my Easter Sunday thoughts.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

I didn't want to do it........

But I did it. Yes, last night I watched New Moon. You know, the second Twilight movie. Very long story why I did, but I was coerced into watching it.

I have never read the books, and never plan to read them. And I don't plan on watching the first movie either. But I did know the story. So I wasn't completely in the dark watching it. And if I did have questions, the person I watched it with had seen the first one.

Honestly, I was laughing. I thought it was hysterical! How does an 18 year old girl know what she wants? And who is obviously ruled by her emotions and not one bit of logic enters her head?? How could she not choose Jacob over Edward?? Edward can barely kiss you, is over 100 years old and wants to suck your blood. Not to mention the very pale white skin and his almost overwhelming unattractiveness. And his silly comments like "Your very breathing is a gift to me Bella". HA! Then Jacob who is healthy, only wants to protect her, looks a million times better than Edward, AND wants to kill crazy Victoria who is trying to kill her is the one you turn down??? And really, a vampire's skin sparkles in the sun??? I think that was when I laughed the most!

I guess I must qualify this review with a few things. First, I am not a fan of super natural anything. Or fantasy inspired things. The only thing I remotely like that is anything like that is Star Wars. Anything else I do not like at all. It all seems completely silly to me. Why spend time on things that will never happen? Or could never happen?? I enjoy books and movies that are more real. Situations that could happen. Situations that have happened. Biographies, true stories. Perhaps you say I have no imagination. And that's fine. That does not hurt my feelings in the least! So with all that, you could almost say that I am predisposed not to like these books and movies. And I would say that you are right.

So, will I see the next one? Will I ever read the books? Not unless I want a good laugh. Or want to watch Shark Boy turn into a werewolf again. (and who in their right mind thought he could pass for an American Indian??? seriously??)