Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
It's been a very overwhelming 36 hours. And today we found out that the military will only get Matt from here to his school. If he goes to our new place, we will have to put out the money to get him back over in this area. But I will be homeless when we get there. We could rent a place until we have a place on post. But I don't want to move twice. We could buy a house. Not to mention that my sister is getting married. TOO MANY DECISIONS!!!!!!! So, we are waiting for another tidbit of information that the army is willing to give to us. I have about 3 or 4 different plans of action currently in my head, trying to figure out which one will be the best. Sigh. Maybe next week things will be a little more clear.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Needless to say this has triggered many thoughts in my head.
I have two other friends whose husbands have come home so altered from deployment (suffering from PTSD and one suffered a brain injury) that they are both currently separated from them. One of their husbands kicked her out. The problem is that they aren't getting the help that they need. They aren't going to a counselor. Neither is the one with the brain injury going to the center they have there especially for that so that he can get the help he needs. Both have children, and luckily one has a degree and the other will have hers shortly.
We haven't had to think about deployment for a very long time. Actually, it has never been something we've ever had to deal with to this point. He did go to Iraq for a week while he was in the chorus to perform for the soldiers. That was the week of Christmas. But for the last five and a half years, being deployed was not a reality for us.
When Matt decided to do Physicians Assistant school, we knew it was only a matter of time, once he was done with school and his officers courses, that he would be deployed. In his job, he would mostly be caring for the wounded. Saving lives really. Which I am intensely proud of. He will be helping these soldiers to get back to their families. There is the possibility of him having to go out with the medics at different times. So, that part is scary. But, that is my reality. He will rarely be shot at or even have to shoot. But see, I think about this. I feel if I don't, when the time comes (which it could come as early as this summer depending on where we go) I won't be ready. I will be a mess. And I can't do that. Yeah, it will be hard, difficult, horrible even. But when you join the military, that is part of our lives. His mom refuses to even discuss it. Won't think about it at all. Which is really going to hurt her in the end.
So, today as I watch my friends daughter, I will have many thoughts going through my mind. And I hope as I see my friends around me dealing with things that I can learn and take from it as much as I can so that when my turn comes up, I'm as ready as I can be.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
1. When I see people that have bad haircuts and dress badly, I give them a make over in my head. I fix their hair, change their shoes and give them a new outfit. And they just look so much better. And I do the same thing to myself. Especially right now when I really really need a haircut.
2. My mom made me take piano lessons when I was little. As I got older, oh I think around 9 or 10 I really started to hate it. She still made me do it. Going into high school, I started to like it. But I am no soloist. I am an accompanist. Playing solos is a lot more difficult for me than playing for someone to sing. I actually LOVE playing for a person that can sing well. I do not like playing for congregations much because they follow the piano rather than me following them. So I always try and play quicker than it should be because they will drag me down with them.
3. I hate getting my hands dirty. I use gloves to do the dishes and to clean the bathroom. If I had to do yard work, I would use gloves too. I just REALLY hate being dirty.
4. I'm a closet crier. I hate crying when there are people around. I also am very uncomfortable when others start to cry. Especially if I don't know them terribly well. I cry when I watch movies, sometimes commercials, and some TV shows. I get very involved with what I watch. Which is why I have to be very careful about the things I watch. But if I know the person well, I can be a sympathetic crier.
5. I've only been to one real concert my entire life. I saw Micheal Damien perform at the Weber County Fair though one year, but I don't count that. My real concert was watching Big Bad Voodoo Daddy open for Steve Miller at the Greek Theater in LA. We watched them open, tried to watch Steve Miller, and got bored. I love their music, but talk about visually boring. Just a bunch of old guys wearing too tight pants and leather vests and some lights. But I was wearing a short skirt and I was with two guys. Not that I had anything for either of them, but it was fun.
6. I have a hard time when there are a lot of conflicting noises around me. For example, people talking while the TV is loud and the dishwasher is on. Or when my husband tries to sing along with songs but doesn't sing the words right with it, but after it because he doesn't know the song. Or when he makes up words. Or when my kids are screaming in the house. I just hate it. I feel like my head is going to explode.
People I tag:
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
1. Do you like blue cheese? one of the few cheeses that i do not like
2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? no. gross. nasty.
3. Do you own a gun? never even held one. but i've seen plenty.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? i usually just get rootbeer. but when i read the question i could totally go for one of their slushies. but matt's not home.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? no
6. What do you think of hot dogs? we have a love/hate relationship
7. Favorite Christmas Song? honestly, i really like so many of them...i actually will play them all year because i like them. but i like the original french version of angels we have heard on high
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? anything that won't make me dry heave
9. Can you do push-ups? maybe.
10. What is your favorite movie? i can't choose. too many good ones.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? my engagement ring. probably because no one else has anything like it.
12. Favorite hobby? cross stitching, blogging (is that a hobby?), making christmas cards....
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? i doubt my children idolize me as they have no idea what that means. but they are always excited to see me, even when i've just gone to the store.
14. Do you have ADD? sometimes i think i do
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? things come out of my mouth that i don't always filter first.
16. What’s your middle name? no middle name
17. Name three thoughts at this moment: i wish my kids would go to sleep-why the heck did andrew put toothpaste in lucy's hair-i really hope it doesn't rain tomorrow
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: nothing. didn't leave my house and no online shopping. (that was this morning.)
19. Current worry right now? when is matt going to get his grades for internal medicine? when are we going to know if we stay or if we go??????
21. Current hate right now? uncomfortable clothes
22. Favorite place to be? it's a tie between sitting on a beach in so cal, or shopping at a flea market in france.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? we were in a hotel (again) for new years and i can't remember if we stayed up or not.
24. Where would you like to go? oh. so many places. you got ten minutes?
25. Name three people who will complete this? ones that want to
26. Whose answer do you want to read the most?
27. What color shirt are you wearing? a light peachy color
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? i don't like slippery stuff while i sleep. and plus, satin doesn't breathe like cotton does
29. Can you whistle? Yes
30. Favorite color? purple
31. Would you be a pirate? no. too dirty, food would suck, and i'm no good with a bayonet.
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? i don't sing in the shower
33. Favorite girl’s name? lucy
34. Favorite boy’s name? andrew
35. What’s in your pocket right now? no pockets in my skirt
36. Last thing that made you laugh? reading Freddy and Fredericka.
37. Best bed sheets as a child? we didn't have any good ones. in fact, i think my mom still has the same ones.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? i was in a car accident (number 2 of 5) and glass cut my elbow and i had to have stitches. and then three weeks later, a piece of glass came out of my elbow. fun times.
39. What is your favorite snack? things that don't make me dry heave
40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? cross stitch
41. Who is your loudest friend? i think it's a tie between julie and monica
42. How many dogs do you have? no dogs here. just not a dog girl.
43. Does someone have a crush on you? ha. that would be funny
45. What is your favorite book? (where was #44?) gone with the wind
46. What is your favorite candy? rootbeer licorice from sprouts. jelly bellys. and pretty much any licorice from sprouts. and almost any chocolate not made in the USA. because thats not really chocolate.
47. What is your favorite sports team? well, as a family we are lakers fans and angels fans. although i think it's dumb that they've renamed the angels as the los angeles angels. when they are at least 50 miles away from los angeles. seriously people.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? i don't think about my funeral.
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? finishing watching a law and order
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? why is matt still home? (he is usually out of the house before any of us open our eyes)
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I was planning on going to our little craft store here on post, after our playgroup, where they have all kinds of cool military (OK, mostly Army and Air Force stuff with a lot of Airborne thrown in) stuff. But alas, my plans were thwarted by a husband that needed the car and told me before 7am. While still in bed. Barely awake. I was going to get something very appropriately military for Mary Alice (her being an Air Force wife and all). I was then going to take a picture of it and post it for all to see how lucky she is. So, the picture will have to wait. And Mary Alice, email me with your address (terinaj at yahoo dot com) and I hope to manage to get to the post office and mail it off. Once I actually have it.
Yes, yes. Pregnant. Yesterday was 14 weeks. Yes, I'm showing. When you're on child number 3 your uterus automatically balloons out in anticipation. Yes, I'm uncomfortable and am starting to wear maternity clothes already because it doesn't hurt my stomach. But I did just buy some belly bands on ebay so I might be able to make my regular jeans last a while longer. Yes, I am actually sick this time. I have never come so close to throwing up as I have in the last few days. I actually thought it was getting better. Wrong. It really sucks when you dry heave while trying to brush your teeth. Or when you're trying to cut up raw chicken for dinner. No, we have not thought of any names. Usually I just choose the name and tell Matt what it is. I have to go through all kinds of crap to get these kids in the world. I figure I'm allowed to name them. His mother tried to suggest a middle name for Lucy while I was either in recovery or during labor. Um, no. And it was her name. Um, an even bigger no. This time there will not be as much difficulty as the last two. It will be scheduled, planned, and hopefully as smooth as these sort of things can go. And yes, I do think I know what it is. I think it's a boy. Never mind about my reasons. (some aren't exactly appropriate for posting)
And I'm still tired.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about our little guessing game. Been thinking about what to do for the winner. By tomorrow, I should have something up.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
On those days when we have special need of heaven's help, we would do well to remember one of the titles given to the Savior in the epistle to the Hebrews. Speaking of Jesus' "more excellent ministry" and why He is "the mediator of a better covenant" filled with "better promises," this author--presumably the Apostle Paul--tells us that through His mediation and Atonement, Christ became "an high priest of good things to come."1
Every one of us has times when we need to know things will get better. Moroni spoke of it in the Book of Mormon as "hope for a better world."2 For emotional health and spiritual stamina, everyone needs to be able to look forward to some respite, to something pleasant and renewing and hopeful, whether that blessing be near at hand or still some distance ahead. It is enough just to know we can get there, that however measured or far away, there is the promise of "good things to come."Even if you cannot always see that silver lining on your clouds, God can, for He is the very source of the light you seek. He does love you, and He knows your fears. He hears your prayers. He is your Heavenly Father, and surely He matches with His own the tears His children shed.
I can't copy and paste the whole thing here, but this is the basic part of his talk, saying that there is hope, that He can see the silver lining even when we cannot. But I highly suggest you go here and read the whole thing. I love his personal story at the end. I wish you could hear him give this talk in person.
At that particular point, it gave me the motivation that I needed. That I could speak French. That the rain wouldn't kill me. That I could get along with this small town girl (cause I'm a city girl). That I wouldn't lose my mind and that I would survive. And now, it gives me hope that if I keep trying to do things in the Lords way, the things that I'm dealing with will get better. Who knows when, but it will. And it will for you, too.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
These are great things. I happen to live where I can walk to two of them. One of them is my neighborhood center, and the other one is the neighborhood across the street. Mine is right next to the school. And at first the plan was to drop off Andrew, then walk across the street and exercise. The problem is there are only so many machines, and lots of people. So, a friend and I decided to walk to the other one, where there aren't so many people, and we'll be able to use the machines that we want.
Well, the last few times have been interesting. There is a group of three moms that are usually already there when we get there. Which is fine. Their kids are playing, and from what we can tell, it doesn't look like any of them have school going children. Considering they are there before we are, and all the kids in these two neighborhoods go to the same school. Maybe they are older and walk on their own, but I don't know. The TV's are the problem. Both of them are set to VH1. Granted, VH1 is much tamer than MTV, although watching either of them seems like a huge waste of time. The songs are dumb, the volume is high, and I feel dumb just watching it. I brought my CD player this morning, hoping that it would block it out, but the CD kept skipping and that was driving me crazy. So we're stuck having to watch VH1. And this morning, the other moms behaviors were a bit strange. One mom was complaining about Lucy chasing one of the little girls around, trying to take her toy. OK, probably not a good thing, but I'm not a mom that intervenes over every little thing. I was exercising. I only get half an hour on that machine, I don't want to waste it by having to get off of it for every dumb thing that the little kids can't deal with. Looking again, they were trying to put together the train tracks, and the other little girl had the train, and within less than 30 seconds, they had somehow communicated that to her and the little girl brought the train over without any problems. Then Lucy was chasing another little girl because it looked as if she wanted the book. Shortly after that, one of the moms took all the kids out and took them into the basketball court to play. Could be that she was just done with her exercising, or she didn't want the kids playing with ours. I have no idea. A few other strange things happened, and then abruptly, they all left.
My friend and I looked at each other in a bit of a shock. It was pretty obvious by their behavior that they weren't happy that we were there. Maybe they didn't like what we were discussing (me moving and the fact Matt is going officer soon, the crappy houses they have here on post), maybe they didn't like that we were just there, maybe they didn't like that our kids were playing with theirs. I have no idea. I guess tomorrow we'll see if it happens again. But tomorrow I'm going to try and change one of the TV's. If I have to watch something, I would much rather watch Good Morning America, The Today Show, or even the local news. Once they left, we turned off the TV's and boy, that silence sure sounded good. Maybe it is my low tolerance for loud things. I don't know.
Bottom line is they are not going to keep me from exercising. I'll try and fix my CD player so that it doesn't skip. And I'll be polite when I change one of the TV's to something else. I'll talk to Lucy about sharing and to use our words instead of chasing. But that is all I can do. If they still have a problem.....oh well. And I'm still sweaty now, so I'm off to shower.