Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Big reality check

So, this morning I got a phone call from someone at church asking me to watch her daughter so that she could go and be with a friend who's husband was killed while deployed. This woman's family was coming in soon, but until then needed some support.

Needless to say this has triggered many thoughts in my head.

I have two other friends whose husbands have come home so altered from deployment (suffering from PTSD and one suffered a brain injury) that they are both currently separated from them. One of their husbands kicked her out. The problem is that they aren't getting the help that they need. They aren't going to a counselor. Neither is the one with the brain injury going to the center they have there especially for that so that he can get the help he needs. Both have children, and luckily one has a degree and the other will have hers shortly.

We haven't had to think about deployment for a very long time. Actually, it has never been something we've ever had to deal with to this point. He did go to Iraq for a week while he was in the chorus to perform for the soldiers. That was the week of Christmas. But for the last five and a half years, being deployed was not a reality for us.

When Matt decided to do Physicians Assistant school, we knew it was only a matter of time, once he was done with school and his officers courses, that he would be deployed. In his job, he would mostly be caring for the wounded. Saving lives really. Which I am intensely proud of. He will be helping these soldiers to get back to their families. There is the possibility of him having to go out with the medics at different times. So, that part is scary. But, that is my reality. He will rarely be shot at or even have to shoot. But see, I think about this. I feel if I don't, when the time comes (which it could come as early as this summer depending on where we go) I won't be ready. I will be a mess. And I can't do that. Yeah, it will be hard, difficult, horrible even. But when you join the military, that is part of our lives. His mom refuses to even discuss it. Won't think about it at all. Which is really going to hurt her in the end.

So, today as I watch my friends daughter, I will have many thoughts going through my mind. And I hope as I see my friends around me dealing with things that I can learn and take from it as much as I can so that when my turn comes up, I'm as ready as I can be.


Jen said...

I'm sorry. I can see that this is a very real concern. A friend of mine's guy came home with PTSD as well. Unfortunately the military did not give him much support--after he got out of the VA hospital he lost his health coverage and consequently didn't get any services to deal with his problems. They broke off their relationship and she is raising their daughter alone because he still hasn't been able to work through his demons. It's very sad. I hope that you will be able to find peace with your decision and trust in the Lord.

Mary Alice said...

My prayers are with this woman as she deals with the loss of her husband. My prayers are with you too, as you face the possibilities of deployment. You will make it through; we all do, one day at a time. Have you looked at the church website lately? They have a special section for military families now.


Heidi said...

You will never be ready, and never know how you will deal with deployment until you are living it. But don't live in the fear of what may be, just enjoy every moment you can, even the frustrating ones, when you are together. We have special men!