So, I had said that I would write about our crazy week.
First, we had Christmas. That day after we opened presents, I started packing. Because the next morning, we were in the car, headed west. Christmas day I put away all our decorations. I started to say goodbye to our house there. The next morning, we loaded up our last minute things. I got our food packed in. I walked around making sure we had all that we needed. We got in the car, and we left.
It took us three days to drive from North Carolina to Southern California. We drove through the night the first night, and got a hotel the next night, and then the next night we were here. We decided to drive through the night that night. We got pretty far too. And it was amazing that the only bad weather we had was in Oklahoma. We had the heaviest rain I have ever driven in. Well, Matt was driving, but it was still scary. We couldn't see the road, there was thunder and lightning, and then, well, it's Oklahoma. I was a bit worried, so I called my friend to check the weather for us. And that was it. When we got to Texas, it was amazing to see how big the sky was. It is just not that big back east. There are lots of trees and things aren't as wide open as they are in Texas. The sky is just really big. We stopped at the first In-n-out we came to, which was in Kingman AZ. And I randomly saw an old friend there. Her parents live in Flagstaff, and they were driving the say way we were. I am so glad I saw her. I was actually thinking about her not too long before we left.
Driving into California was a bit interesting. I haven't been here for over a year, and I'm not just coming to visit. I'm coming for a while. At least six months. It was strange to think. It's still a little strange at the moment, but I'm sure I'll get used to it.
The most difficult thing about being here is my husbands family. Every time we come back, they get crazier. It is SO overwhelming to be around them. Right now my coping strategy is just to sit there and cross stitch while the kids play. But now that Matt is gone, they might actually talk to me for more than a few minutes. Luckily we are leaving to go to my sisters wedding open house, so I get a break from the crazy in laws. (I would love to go into detail about them, but I think I will refrain. for now.)
Right now I find myself imagining myself back in our house with our stuff. It really is just stuff. But it's my stuff. Stuff that helps us to feel at home no matter where we've moved to. And I don't have a lot of that stuff with me. I don't have my couches (even though I can't wait to afford to buy different ones). I don't have my giant bed. (how am I supposed to go from a cal king to a full???) I don't have my washer and dryer. I don't have my dishes. I don't have my pictures hanging from the walls. (I did bring a few small pictures with me though.) And biggest of all is that I don't have my husband to help make it easier. I don't have him making jokes about why my parents refuse to get a new mattress on the bed I'm sleeping in (it squeaks like you wouldn't believe just rolling over.) Or asking me (like he did today) if I've lost weight because I look a lot smaller and how he is lucky that he's got me for his wife.
I know that I can do anything as long as there is light at the end of my tunnel. And I can see the light already. It is still very very far off, and is a very small pin point of light in the dark. But six months isn't very long at all. And it just might be even less. So, I am going to continue to focus on the good things, the positive and pray that time goes by quickly so that I can have my stuff back. I know you can't take it with you. But it sure helps you feel at home.
A Man By Any Other Name
3 hours ago