Monday, January 28, 2008

Foot in Mouth (again)

Yesterday was an interesting day at church. I was asked to be the primary chorister. So, instead of going to Sunday school and to Relief Society, I went to Primary. I really like my pianist. I seem to get along well with her. The bishopric member that had talked to me about being the Primary chorister came in. I went up and asked him a question. He is deploying some time this week, and he was released yesterday. I made the comment that it would be like coming home from the mission and not knowing what to do with yourself. (regarding his release from the bishopric, and that he wouldn't have any type of a calling.) He looked at me and said "I didn't go on a mission." I said "Oh, I did." He continued and said that he was a convert. Apparently he was 21, married and in the military at the time. Well, obviously, he wouldn't be able to serve a mission. But the tone of voice and how he talked to was like how dare I bring something up that he had not experienced and at the same time make him feel bad for not being able to serve a mission. OK, that is not what I expected at all. I came away from the conversation thinking that it would be good he would not be there (not that I wanted him to deploy) but that I would not have to worry about any more awkward discussions like that.

The next one was not a big thing. I was picking up Lucy from the nursery, and a mom came to pick up her child. She already had a child in her arms, so I picked up who I thought belonged to her by the way the child was acting. Um, wrong. Had to put that one back and bring out the other one. Awkward, but not that big of a deal.

The next one was at night. While in Primary I had been talking to the pianist about the ward. She had mentioned that Enrichment activities seemed to be difficult for this ward to get going. So, I called up the RS president last night and told her that if they would like, I wouldn't mind heading up a book club. Her husband had been called to replace the above bishopric member. And I was under the impression that now that her husband was in the bishopric, that she would be released as RS pres. I said something like I sure hope they release you soon. That is going to be tough for you guys to do. She responded something like this: "Well, we really believe that the Lord will sustain us, and we'll just keep on going." OK. Well, I guess I don't have as much faith as she does or something. It is hard to exactly describe her tone of voice here, but I felt very 'put back in my place' sort of thing. Or that I was being nosy and it wasn't any of my business to worry about their family. But it really just was me trying to make conversation.

The stinky part about it was I really was just being myself. I wasn't trying to be rude or be nosy into someone elses family. And how was I to know about this man's past? It just pointed out to me how much I really do need to watch what I say and work harder at filtering my thoughts so that what comes out sounds just as it was intended. But then I have friends that tell me that my straightforwardness and my honesty is what they really like about me. Well, I won't change who I am, I'll just keep it to myself. No need to cause problems where there really isn't one. I'll stick to my Primary pianist and hope that there are others in the ward that I can be friends with.


Steve-o said...
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Jen said...

Oh, I've totally made comments that fell flat or were taken wrong before. It happens to us all. So sorry they were all on the same day!

J.Ammon said...

I think when you're in that situation, you should mention how their breath stinks too. Once they're on the defensive you might as well continue insulting them, even if you have no good reason.