It is working!!!!

I'm sure I have mentioned my two favorite books, Without Offense and How to Hug a Porcupine at least 10 or more times on my blog. And I really love them. Well, here comes more of it.

I have been listening to my book on CD, Without Offense, for a while. I've gotten all the way through it (listening to each CD numerous times before moving on to the next one) and each one was more enlightening than the other. When I "read" these two books, my thinking usually revolves around two different relationships in my life: me and my mother and me and my husband. In the first relationship, it helps me to see where things went wrong. Pinpoint why I struggle with the things I do. Then it helps me to see a way to get past those things and move on to something better. In the second relationship, I can see what I have been doing wrong and what I need to do to change things. I feel that if I know the reasons behind certain of my behaviors, then I can change my thinking to where it should be rather than just sitting around being angry all the time. There isn't much I can do about the first relationship. I live 3,000 miles from her, and talk a few times a month. It would be totally different if we still lived in California and I had to deal with her on a daily basis.

The other night I was talking to Matt about these two books, and he had said he would be willing to read/listen to them. I'll have to kind of push him to do it because he won't take the initiative, but with gentle persuasion I think he will do it. I also explained some of the things I have been learning and how I was trying to make a few changes. I then asked if he could notice a difference in me. And he said yes!!!!! He followed that with "because you're not angry all the time anymore."

The key for me so far has been just a few major things. The first is that I've been more consistent at reading my scriptures. Next, I'm trying really hard to take my love to my husband and take my frustrations to God. So that no matter what that person does, they know that I still love them. It isn't as if I don't speak up and call him on things that he shouldn't be doing or don't get ticked off at him. I just have cut back on those things and tried really hard on just changing myself.

The fact that he has noticed that I have changed has been incredibly motivating. I am more determined that I will continue to listen and read and to implement more change as time goes on. And, of course, get him to listen/read too. Because I'm not the only one that needs to work on some things.:)