I was talking to someone the other day. She is on "house rest" where she isn't supposed to be doing a whole lot, but isn't on bed rest. She is about 4 weeks or so from her due date. And as women do, I started asking what her plans were for delivery and that sort of thing. Well, she wants to have her baby at home, with a midwife.
When I heard that, I thought "this woman is crazy". But I kept my mouth shut, and just asked a few more questions about it. I tried as hard as I could to not say that she was (in my opinion) taking a huge huge risk in that choice.
I understand peoples desires to give birth without the epidural or other pain medication. I can see the benefit in not putting drugs into your body. I can understand wanting a midwife, and not a doctor. I struggle with the fact that she will be a few miles away from a hospital that is equipped to take care of her needs if there is something that goes wrong.
Yes, women have been delivering babies for thousands of years without pain medication, without doctors and all of those things. And many many of them died in the process. Now we have the knowledge and technology to keep these mothers and children alive. I believe it is a gift that we have. Yes, we need to use it correctly, and not just hand out the pain meds. I know 2 other mothers that would not be with us today if we did not have the technology and medication that we have now. One gets so sick that she loses weight throughout her entire pregnancy, and has had many many IVs and even a feeding tube that bypassed her stomach and went straight to her intestines. Another one who had a little boy 8 weeks early after being on bed rest for more than 6 months and he was delivered Cesarean, and was in the hospital for many many weeks. So many other women who's lives were saved because of the knowledge that we have now. 70 years ago, these women and their children would never had made it. I would be without a sister and a best friend. I have had to have two emergency c-sections because of a breech baby, and then because of my previous c-section (and the fact that there wasn't any lax left on the umbilical cord because she did gymnastics in my uterus) I had to have another one after 4 hours of pushing and not progressing. How I wanted to be like other women and deliver a baby how we were made to do it. But it wasn't to be.
So, in some ways I understand why this woman would have these desires. But at the same time, I feel like she is taking a huge risk with her life and her baby's life.
We are lucky that we live in this time where we have these options and choices. And that is wonderful! I just have to learn to not judge, keep my mouth shut, and then pray that both mother and baby are healthy. But there isn't a person on this earth that could convince me that it is better to deliver at home, without a doctor close by, without professionals that know how to take care of those newly born babies, without an anesthesiologist, without the IVs, without having all that is needed there and ready just in case. When my life is on the line, and my child's, the place where all of those things are available is where I need to be.
Have any of you encountered this before? Have any of you had home births? Even if we don't agree about what is the "right" way, at least I can have a better understanding. Maybe next time someone tells me that they are choosing to have their baby at home I won't have such a crazy gut reaction to it. Maybe I'll be less judgemental and more respectful of their choice.
“Venid Hermanos En La Fe”
9 hours ago
13 comments:
i agree about how silly it sometimes seems to not take advantage of what we're blessed with. for our first child i opted for a natural birth in a birthing center right next door to the hospital. i ended up going to the hospital and thank god for that! :)
I've run into many people that are adamantly against giving birth in the hospital.... until their child comes out blue. I'm with you 100% I don't understand how anyone can possibly jeapordize the life of their newborn for what I deam selfish reasons of wanting to have their own power in all aspects. Sure women have been doing this for thousands of years but until this last century with the medical advances the mortality rate for those births both mother and baby was around 50% not acceptable when we have the resources to prevent it.
Have you read the research on this?
It's actually safer for mom & baby to have the baby at home, as long as you are attended by an experienced midwife who can recognize complications that need to be transferred to the hospital.
Having a baby at home is currently the safest way to have a baby, especially with the numbers of deadly infections people pick up at hospitals, that are antibiotic resistant.
I've also seen some pretty compelling research that shows that prenatal care actually causes more harm than good. As to house rest or bed rest, there's no documented proof that it does anything to slow or stop labor, its just a precaution in case it works. (My friend's experience was consistent with research. She was finishing her degree & her doctor told her to go on bed rest. She said if she did she wouldn't be able to graduate, and he conceeded that it's just a precaution and not proven to help. She had an extremely high risk pregnancy.)
With the baby I miscarried 3 weeks ago, I was planning a home birth. I believe it was the safest choice I could have made for me & my baby, and my midwife was much more on top of the research and much more personable than any doctor I've worked with. She could actually answer many questions my 4 OB's over the years have never been able to answer. There are so many interventions dr's do routinely that are based on tradition which actually cause problems for babies being born and lead to bigger interventions like C-sections.
The hospital rate for C-sections is at 20-25% right now. The home birth transfer rate for miscarriages averages at 5% and, of those transfers only about half require C-sections. The mortality rates are also lower in attended home births than in hospitals.
There is a lot of misunderstanding about what a home birth entails. My prenatal care with this past pregnancy was the same as going to the doctor as far as she did all the same blood tests, heart beat checks etc. However there was a much larger focus on me, what I wanted for the birth, my nutrition, my health, being emotionally & physically ready for the birth. None of my doctors ever thought about those things.
The focus with a midwife is on prevention rather than on searching for problems-which is a big reason why home birth babies birth weights are better and the babies are often more stable at birth-mom actually ate a healthy, balanced diet with plenty of protein & exercised rather than the medical focus on not gaining too much weight.
Know where that started? Because back in the day, people had bone deformities from Rickets and a small pelvis meant a big baby couldn't be born. That is why we limit weight gain in pregnancy today, its a throwback from the industrial revolution. Read my "assumptions" post last week about why women birth in stirrups...its based on a tradition of voyerism, not on medical science! If you want to question home birth, also question very deeply why everything in the hospital is done the way it is done, you might be really surprised at how many medical professionals can't give you an answer, and when you dig deeply for those answers, how shocking they are.
If you have a medical problem such as a clotting disorder, yes have your babies in the hospital. If you have a complicated pregnancy, a history of complicated births or C-sections, or don't feel a home birth is right for you yes, you want to be near the equipment.
Having a baby at home is not for everyone, but for many women, being able to take responsibility for their health, their birth, and being able to trust their bodies is not only empowering, it is a carefully researched choice they made for their own safety and the safety of their child.
Having babies at home is not a negligent choice, and most women who choose it are very educated, intelligent women who trust their bodies and have excellent, trained & experienced birth attendants.
jen: i am always impressed with how much you know about so many things. i'm always learning something new from your blog.
i have never researched it because as a child and even as a teenager/young adult i had no idea that people even did this. my mom never had any meds, but she did deliver in a hospital.
my first c-section was the fault of my doctor. my next child (if/when that actually happens) i would like to try to do it vaginally, but i know with two c-sections i will have to search around for someone that will let me. i don't know if i could do it without the pain meds, but i have a lot of time to think about it. i still believe that God gave us these blessings of modern medicine and that we don't have to be like the pioneer women or the indian women. we have choices. which is so great.
i saw a water birth on a baby story, and that looked like something that i might be willing to do. i just am terrified of the pain. the pain i had with my second was really intense and really bad.
i did read your assumptions post. i will have to start looking up things and asking questions about things.
the one down side to a home birth that i can see is having to do all the laundry and having to clean up the mess. after i have a baby i just want to lay around and recover.
i didn't come from a family that did much research and finding out of things. nor did we do much "changing" of traditional ways of doing things. my sister and i are working on trying to change that for us and for our kids. thank you for the info!!
Typically with a home birth there isn't as much blood so the mess is less to begin with.
A midwife would bring with her the same disposable chux pads the hospital uses, and a plastic sheet to put over your made bed, on top of which goes a soft, clean, but old sheet that can be thrown away if it is ruined. Then after the birth, the soiled sheets are removed, and under the plastic one is your nice clean bed all ready for you to get comfy & start nursing your baby. You don't have to do any of that though, your midwife & doulas take care of it for you, you just get to focus on enjoying your baby. Some doulas will even stay with you for a few days to cook, clean, do laundry, & take care of your children while you cuddle up in bed with your newborn.
PS-You can get water births now in some hospitals, as well as at home and I've heard some people refer to them as as effective for pain as an epidural. There is a lot you can do for pain management at home, you just don't get narcotics. Typically when you are feeling pain during a birth, its a sign that you need to change positions. Some women who home birth even describe it as not only not painful, but pleasurable...taking the stress element (hospital) away not only reduces complications, but it reduces pain. You might want to check out the Bradley childbirth book to read about why that is the case.
ok sorry I know my previous response didn't help. I get hot and bothered sometimes. To each his/her own. I guess I also have problems knowing how to respond to such a sensitive issue. I guess just pray everything turns out ok, which more than likely it will.
I know several people who have delivered at home and had wonderful experiences. Personally, I have delivered all three of my kids with midwives (certified nurse midwife, which is different from a "lay midwife" who attends home births), but at a hospital. I feel it's the "best of both worlds". I get the care and comfort of a female midwife, and the technology and "backup" of a hospital.
All the midwives I have ever known about won't take on a client if she feels that client is "high risk" in any way. They always refer to an OB. For instance, if I were to develop high blood pressure, or had a history of complications, or pre term labor, etc., I would no longer be seen by the midwife, but by an OB. So, typically, midwife-attended births are those that are normal, healthy, low-risk births.
Read up on it, you'd be surprised. It's not as kooky and old-fashioned as it seems.
nestle: i get hot and bothered too. which is why i tried my hardest when i was talking with this woman to NOT get into it. and to just let it sink in and think about it. i doubt doing it at home is even an option for me at this point. after two c-sections i'm lucky to find a doctor that will let me do a vaginal birth. but i'll try to find one next time i am pregnant (which hopefully won't be for a while)
I tried posting a couple of comments but they didn't go through. Some of the reasons why I get hot and bother is because of the personal experiences i've had with friends. I did the research before my first as did one of my friends who was pregnant at the same time. She had a home birth, I didn't I had a c-section. she however tore too deeply that the midwife couldn't get to it, she was rushed to the hospital and ended up fighting for her life where had she been at the hospital they could have sewn her up in a couple of minutes. Some other experiences have happened with other friends who had no complications with pregnancy or labor but their baby came out blue and it took a neonatologist 7 min to get J to breath. Another little girl I watch had a hamangioma that was taking all of her oxygen when she was born. Her heart kept stopping from lack of oxygen. I'm all for the idea of midwife in the hospital as long as it's in the hospital where the personel is there that can save the life of you or your baby if need be. I cringe to think of what would have happened to these two babies had they not been in the hospital.
Most women can handle a home birth, heck most women can deliver in a bathroom stall. It's a natural process. It's just the possibilities of what can happen that makes it too high of a risk for me. Most people think the hospital is overkill on the monitors and stuff but if those monitors can save the life of me or my baby isn't it worth it? I'd say find a midwife and do it in the hospital. I tried a vbac after my first. Ummm I apparently don't go into labor, nor produce breast milk. They think I don't produce enough oxytocin that encourages both of these events. :-)
Sadly, I have only limited knowledge of home births, but know that most go without incident. However, my second baby was born in a hospital and was immediately rushed away after delivery. She was not getting oxygen and didn't look very good; no crying, purple color. To say the least I was scared. She had only limited lung capacity and was hospitalized in the NICU for a few weeks. I know there are connections that can be made using a midwife and birthing from home. However, when those instances arise that warrant immediate medical attention for either the baby or the mother, sometimes only using the most available and up-to-date medical technology can save lives.
Just as we shouldn't judge those who want home births, people who want home births shouldn't judge the rest of us who would prefer to be in a hospital. I would never in a million years want a homebirth, but it isn't because I'm afraid my baby or myself might die. I just have zero desire for natural childbirth. I've had two babies and it friggin hurts. If there was a medication that would make it so I felt nothing at all, I would totally sign up. Does that mean I'm less than a woman or less of a mother? I don't think so. How, when and where you choose to have your child is not a contest.
There are so many people in this country who don't know the basic facts about eating healthy and exercise that I believe prenatal care in important, just for the nutrition guidance. And since I have a thyroid condition, without routine bloodwork, my babies could have been born with brain problems, if they had even been born at all. Not to mention that years ago, babies died from rh disease, something that is easily prevented these days, and without my prenatal care, I wouldn't have known that I am Rh negative.
100 years ago, 1 in 3 women died in childbirth or from complications arising from pregnancy and childbirth. As much as people like to blast modern medicine, doctors and science and research have made huge steps forward.
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