"Celebrating Me"
I would like to focus on one thing that I think I do best. Recognizing progress.
There are so many things that I struggle with, that I haven't been able to completely turn around. By trying not to overwhelm myself with lofty goals, I make small ones, things that I know that I can do with just a little more effort.
There are few things that I honestly believe that I excel at. Well, maybe talking on the phone, (I'm really good at that) and listening on the phone too. I'm good at remembering people's names, and small details. Like the phone numbers of my childhood friends. Still remember them. I believe that I'm an average mom, wife. Nothing that I do is out of the norm.
So, with this progress theme, I look at my life, and then look at what it was a year ago, and I can see progress. I made a goal to plan my dinners better, and I have gotten really good at thinking about my dinner before noon. And most of the time having a plan. Even if it is leftovers or that we're going to Burger King. I have gotten better at not losing my control with my kids. I have realized that I can change, no matter what anyone thinks of me. I can see progress in several areas of my life. I feel like that if I can keep going in this general direction (and I say general, because I'm sure that at some points I will be going the wrong way) I will get where I want to be. And oh well if I'm 80 when I get there. At least I got there.
Now, I'm not always this positive in my "vie quotidienne". (everyday life. that phrase in french just fit better in my head) Days like today when I wanted to just lay on the couch and watch all the movies that I haven't watched yet. Days when I feel like all my efforts to talk to and teach my son how to listen and the right words to use and how to treat me and others goes right out the window. But the fewer times that this happens, I know I'm going in the right direction.
I know that when I pray about my struggles, whatever they may be, (mostly patience with my son) that I can feel that I'm getting the help that I need. Of course I do all I can to breathe, relax, and talk it out rather than start screaming like a crazy lady. But there is something there that is helping me to stay there.
Whatever my strengths are, I know that I didn't get there by myself. There is no possible way, because I wouldn't have been able to do it. For example, when I found out that I had to have another emergency c-section. I remember sitting on that table covering my eyes and just sobbing. Terrified of what was going to happen next, and hoping that I would be able to recover well, and that there wouldn't be anything go wrong. Obviously I made it through. But at that moment, I never think that I will. In those moments when I think that I will never be organized enough to have a house that looks clean (because we all know there is not a house on this earth that is clean all the time) or when I think that I will never succeed at teaching my children the things that they need to know for life, or even something as small as being on top of getting the dishes done, I know that if I take it small steps, and with Heavenly Fathers help (and shells', and my sisters') I will get through it, and I will survive.
I guess that is my strength: I can and I will survive.
(pretend you can hear gloria gaynor singing in the background..... hehe)
For more on this subject please go to My Many Colored Days.
7 comments:
Hey - I remember a lot of my childhood friend's phone numbers, too! Cool!
Ah, being organized. That's a good one! I am way too spontaneous with mealtime. Here I am contradicting myself by pointing out a flaw. Lol!
You have a sureness about you - I'd say that is another strength! Just from my perspective. :)
Okay, I added you as a "Friend from Afar" on my blog "And So Forth."
www.and-so-forth.blogspot.com
That way I know I will drop in from time to time.
It's hard to move all the time and, especially, live somewhere you don't want to be! Blogging is a good way to make connections, even if it's just virtual!
Hi Terina - thanks so much for visiting and for you kind comment. I loved your post. I think you are right where we all are - taking one step at a time and growing in the Lord.
I think there are several of us bloggers who live in the S.A. area. I'm so sorry you aren't happy here in Texas.
My daughter is a writer (she works as and editor and medical writer - among other things right here in S.A.) and hopes some day to spend some time in France. She has been studying french for a few years and has organized a little informal group of people who just want to get together and converse in french. It has really helped her to become more fluent. If you're interested in something like that, I could put you in touch with her.
It was nice to get to visit with you. Thank you and your husband for your service to our country. I appreciate so much the sacarifice you make.
TJ- I rarely comment but often read your blog. this is my favorite post. It's sincere and sweet. You are really good at many things. (I've always wanted to play the piano like you do.) Recognizing progress and success (no matter how big or small) is so important. It is by small and simple things that great things come to pass.
Being able to see the progress you make - whether small or big - is a great quality to have. It motivates you to keep trying. I can think of another one you seem to have - persistence.
Progress is definitely a wonderful thing to celebrate! And having read a lot of your posts over the last few months, I know you are a remarkably strong and capable woman with a variety of strengths.
And I, too, remember a lot of my childhood friend's phone numbers, last names, birthdays and etc. My short term memory these days, though, seems to be going :) !!
Do you remember the old movie, "What about Bob?"
I don't know why, but whenever I think about those little by little goals we set for ourselves, I remember a line from the movie.
"Baby steps, baby steps."
It really is how we get there. Thanks for the perspective.
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