Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Thoughts on Mothers Day

I don't like Mothers Day. I grew up with expectations of what we had to do and how to treat my mom on that day. I hated those expectations.

I could be one of the only people to say this, but I wish that we didn't have a Mothers Day, or Valentines Day. The expectations that come with these days are so rarely accomplished, that the day usually ends up a disappointment. I do not have expectations for these days. I don't think that I should make my husband feel guilty for not buying me flowers on Valentines Day. Mine just isn't a flower buying type of guy. It would be nice if we didn't have those pressures (whether from ourselves, others or society) of what we should be doing on those days.

I'm uncomfortable with Mothers Day as a mother. Its not that I don't think that we should celebrate being mother. But what about all those that cannot be mothers? Or those that aren't mothers? Or those mothers that are not mothers at all in the real sense of the word? Why can't we have a Woman's Day, where we celebrate all that is being a woman. Be you a mother, an aunt, single with no children, lawyer, doctor, receptionist, truck driver..... I would celebrate that day. Or a Woman's Week where each day we focus on a few aspects of being a woman.

For now I just have to suck it up, that we have a Mothers Day. That if I don't at least try to call my mom that day, I'll probably be in trouble.

I don't feel like this about Fathers Day. Probably because my dad never really cared (or at least showed that he cared) much about what we did that day. He was just grateful for whatever it happened to be. Which is how it should be.....

8 comments:

dalene said...

I agree with you about the expectations and pressures ruining these types of holidays for everyone. I tried not to have expectations and I always worry about how others feel, but the truth is as I have gotten older I have started to understand how everyone beats themselves up over it. And that's really too bad.

wendy said...

I like Mothers Day. I admit it. I'm all for a party, even if I have to bake my own cake and buy flowers for the table!

When we were kids, my dad would take all of us out to eat on Mothers Day. That was such a special treat, and it also felt a little illegal since Mother's Day is Sunday.

This year I may even buy myself a gift!

Millie said...

Wow, interesting thoughts.

It would be nice to not have a "day" for anything at all, as it seems more and more an opportunity to buy stuff someone doesn't need or want in the name of "thinking of them".

But on the other hand, it's cute seeing the Primary kids lined up at the front of the chapel singing, "Mother I Loooooove You" and the women in the ward given some kind of funny little treat.

TJ said...

i do like the singing too millie. i just hated the afterwards at home when i was younger. i am determined that i will never guilt my children into buying or doing something on mothers day or my birthday or any other day. (chores don't count!)
wendy, buy yourself a gift!! i bought several small gifts for myself today as my husband is so busy, i doubt he will even remember it is mothers day this sunday. until we get to church that is....

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

I'm all for Wendy's idea of buying ourself gifts. That takes the pressure off the hubby's. =) And that way we get what we really want!

Vanessa and Rebecca said...

Look I found you!!! Hee hee just found your blog. Good stuff. I am in TOTAL agreement with you on the mother's day thing, and the valentines thing. We've actually decided at least for Valentines day it's the day we splurge on ourselves together (this year phantom tickets) that way we do it together and then no expectations involved. Works good for us.

An Ordinary Mom said...

Mother's Day is like any other holiday, you just have to make sure you celebrate it for the right reasons and focus on the more important aspects - not the consumerism part. For several years Mother's Day was hard on me because it took so long for us to have children, but that is why I focus on women on this day. And instead of buying flowers and presents, I just enjoy it when my husband lets me sleep in and take time for myself.

And if you have to remind your spouse about your special day, at least you won't be disappointed that way. After a few years, maybe he will start remembering on his own :) !!

Vanessa and Rebecca said...

Funny note, my friend is throwing an "abandoned mothers bbq" on Sunday for all mothers whose spouses are unavailable. Hers will be out of the country, anothers will be cross country and mine will be on call. hee hee I think it's just a random excuse for a girls night.