I am getting tired of this friends. Just plain tired. I'm tired of moving into wards (a congregation) where it's so big that the people that are in charge are overwhelmed, and aren't able to meet the needs of their members. I'm tired of moving into a part military ward, and having the people that have been there for YEARS (and I'm talking born, raised, the whole thing) hardly give us the time of day. I'm tired of myself or others I know falling through the cracks because of this or that. I'M TIRED OF IT!!!!!!
I mean, we've been there four Sundays in a row. Four. And neither the Relief Society President or the Bishop have said much (or anything) to either of us. But also, nor have I or Matt made a huge effort to go up to them and introduce ourselves and make ourselves known. So, that is where I'm going to start. But it's not going to stop with just that. There are SO many changes that need to be made. It's not just for me. Who knows how many people have fallen through the cracks, in these kinds of wards?? While we aren't perfect, and there will always be some that do fall through, we have to at least try!!!!! There isn't a whole lot of trying going on here. I have made some efforts. I went to playgroup last week, I was going to go walking with another group, but my back hurt so badly, I stayed home. I'm not sitting in the corner, wondering why no one will talk to me, while not doing anything about it. I need to do more though. And things need to be done for those others that don't think they can do anything about it.
In some ways, this is a little selfish. Matt will deploy soon. And, gosh darn it, I need the support!!! I need to have friends that I know I can call on if I'm in a situation. I need friends husbands to come and help do stuff in my house that requires more physical strength than what I have. I need someone to watch my kids every now and then so that I can rest. I also need to be able to help my friends who are in the same situation. I want there to be a whole bunch of giving and receiving going on. Helping to pick up where someone else can't, and know, that when you can't do it, there will be someone there. It is possible!!! I have experienced this before so I KNOW it can happen.
The size of the ward is a problem. It NEEDS to be split. Not only are there not enough callings to go around, but the people in charge of Primary, Relief Society, and the rest are so overwhelmed that they just cannot do it all. But, supposedly, the building can't handle having three wards there. There are good arguments for both sides. But really, if you want it to happen it will.
Here's another thing I have a problem with. There isn't a member of either the bishopric or Relief Society presidency that is affiliated with the military. Not one. Not a counselor, not even a secretary. Which is a problem. Because we make up at least a third of the ward, if not more. And I've been to the meetings that they all go to. And if there isn't someone bringing up the needs of the military families, someone that is very aware of them, things aren't going to be helped. We need a voice in ward council and in the other meetings.
I can't change peoples callings. I can't change the ward boundaries. I can't change peoples behaviors. But I can go talk to the bishop about my concerns. I can tell him that there are too many people falling through. I can go in with a plan, and a willingness to do what I can to change things. I can organize a family home evening once a month for the families whose spouses are deployed. We can have a girls night out once a month for the wives of those husbands who are deployed. And provide a babysitter(s). We can call them and check on them to make sure they are not going crazy. And several other things that would not only help the military families, but the civilian families.
I have a feeling that some of these things might be really out of some peoples comfort zones. And as a result of that and the fact I want to change things (oh no!! change!!!! we can't change!!! this is how we've ALWAYS done it!!!) some of those people might not like me very much. Oh well. Heaven forbid someone does something about the problems. Like I said before, I'm getting tired of this. And darn it, I'm going to do something about it.
1 day ago