Just a taste

I have realized that I haven't actually talked much about "life as a military wife". And now I finally have a little taste for you of what it is like to be married to a man in the military.

This isn't my experience. This is about a very very good friend of mine. We met in Germany, she and her husband lived in the apartment right above us. She was pregnant at the time, and both of them were active duty also. She got out before she had the baby. We did Thanksgiving together, Christmas, Easter, and just anytime that the other was cooking and the other was too tired. When I had Lucy, she said that she would come down and stay with Andrew so that we could just go to the hospital. And she did, and kept him most of that day.

They left Germany a little more than a year ago, to go to Fort Bragg, in North Carolina. Her family lives close by, so they moved in with them until they found a place of their own, but they found out shortly that he was going to be deployed, and she didn't want to live by herself. She got pregnant shortly before he left (they wanted to be pregnant) and yesterday she just had the baby. He was scheduled to come home for R&R this same week. He missed his sons birth by about 10 hours. But at least he got here. He has had 3 very close calls, one of which he was taken off duty for a few days to heal and recupe before going out again. He is also a medic, and he is always taking care of his soldiers. On the same day, my very good friend had her son and saw her husband for the first time in 8 months. And in about two weeks or so, he will have to go back to Iraq. I'm not really sure when he is going to come home.

I talked to her last night, and just listened to her talk about the birth, and what happened when her husband was able to get to the hospital. How she's feeling now, and how hard it is going to be when he leaves in a few weeks. This is such a normal part of our lives. Last year at least 6 men from our church we deployed for a year. One of them left his wife with a 6 month old, and four other older daughters. And she was by herself for a year in a foreign country. Another situation I know of is a man that will be up early for a promotion, but with this promotion comes a deployment. And this is just our facts of life. I gave birth to Andrew without Matt there. He was in AIT (not sure what that stands for, but its schooling after Basic) and he didn't see his son until Andrew was 5 weeks old.

I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for us, or sad for us that this is part of our lives. I was so glad that when Lucy was born Matt was able to be there. It was so much better to have him there, and to have him helping me and see what I actually went through. It made all the difference. Of course he was horrible at taking pictures, so Lucy has maybe 10 pictures of her when she was first born. I'll just tell her that her dad was in charge of the camera that day, and that he was never allowed to do that again! I just want to bring awareness that those that have their husbands always around, to be there in the times that they are needed the most should be so gratefull that they have that. I've been lucky that Matt has only been to Iraq once, and it was only for one week. It was the week of Christmas, and he was going to perform for the soldiers as he was in the Army Europe Chorus at the time. Yes it was scarey, and I was worried. And it was hard that he wasn't there for Christmas. But you just deal with it and get over it.

Right now Matt is in the PA program for the Army. He has this year and next year for his schooling, and the reality is that after he does this program and graduates, he will be deployed. And we'll be fine. It won't be great, but we'll get through it.

In Germany, there was a girl in my ward that would always talk about how much she missed her husband, how hard it was without him, and blah blah blah. She was so irritating. They had just joined the Army, and it was like she thought that he would never be deployed. What was more irritating was that there were families that their husbands were deployed for the 2cd or 3rd time, and I thought this girl was so selfish. When you join the military, this is part of your life. You can't go into something like this and not realize that the possibility is very very real.

Our life is good. The health benefits are great, we live on post and the commissary is usually much cheaper than a regular grocery store. We don't pay tax there or at the PX. Because we live on post, we have no bills other than our cell phones and our phone/internet/cable. I don't even have to take care of my lawn, they have gardners that do that for us. I feel safe on post, as much as it does get irritating to always have to show my ID card. But I know that is for safety. Just a few weeks ago we had a bomb scare where some guy had a few pipe bombs in his car and tried to get on post with them because a soldier was messing with his girlfriend. That is just part of the life of being in the military. We do move a lot too.

I hope that this has helped you see a little bit into our lives. I have to say that I didn't understand this before we joined the military. I wish I would have known. This summer we have been in for four years, and I have learned so much. I will try and post more things that pertain to being in the military, but for the most part, our lives are a lot like anyone else's.