The best 10 years in a womens life come between 28 and 30

My grandma has that saying on a magnet on her fridge. When I was a kid, I would look at it and do the math, and it just never made sense to me. But when I was there at Christmas time and I saw it, it reminded me of how I didn't understand it.

But here it is: I just turned 29. 29. That is right between 28 and 30. Now you could take that saying to mean you want to be 29 for the rest of your life. Nice body or whatever reason you have. Or, at that time of your life, it feels like 10 years instead of 2. I'm not really sure which one really applies to me.

As I think about the fact that I just turned 29, I think about the things that I have been able to do in my life. I think how fast this time has gone. I think about all that I have learned. There are some things that I wish I hadn't done or said, but I've survived, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger right??

In this last year I have figured out a ton for myself: What kind of mother I want to be, and what I don't want to be. The kind of people that I want in my life. How I have my limits with family members, and to only allow myself a certain amount of time with them so that I don't lose my mind. Figuring out that it is OK to not have a clean house all the time everyday. The kind of wife I want to be. The incredible power of choice and change. Honestly, I really wasn't able to make any changes until I realized that it was a choice. And how making that choice to change has made such a difference.

I could go on. Once when I was staying overnight at my grandma's house after a long flight back and I didn't want to drive the hour home, I realized that even though my grandma is almost 80 (or maybe she is I can't remember) she is still having to make dinner. I HATE making dinner, and figuring out what to eat and all that. And I realized that at 80, I would still have to make dinner. 50 more years of making dinners. That thought just made me want to go to sleep and hide from all of my cookbooks and run away from my kitchen. Now, even though I know that I will still probably be making dinners at that age, it doesn't really bother me. Not really sure what the change has been, but I think it is my perspective on life and being a mom.

The flip side of this is that I don't look 29. When I was pregnant with andrew about four years ago, my husband and I chaperoned a youth dance at church. I was barely pregnant, maybe two months, and I was holding Matts hand as we walked in and the people at the door asked for my dance card. I thought "are you kidding??? I'm pregnant and I'm wearing a wedding ring!" But apparantly they thought I looked young enough. When I was on my mission people would ask if I was 18. I thought in my head "what is wrong with you people?? I'm 21!! Can't you see that?" I guess when I'm 40 people will think I'm 30. I guess what I want is to look my age, not always be taken as younger and not as mature as I am.

I'm hoping this next year is going to be as full of self-understanding as this past year was.