Since it's Sunday

I thought I would do a semi-spiritual post. I rarely do these, mostly because my spiritual moments are kinda personal. But today, I just feel like sharing this.....

I went to Time Out For Women, put on my Deseret Book last September. My sister and I went (it took a lot of coordinating for us to work this out, but it did) at the one in Phoenix, AZ. I knew that they would mostly be selling the books of the speakers, but they also had a CD of songs that they were selling, that was a Time Out CD. Since it wasn't very much and I love music, I bought it. My favorite song on it is called Who You Are. Yeah, it was written by an LDS woman, for LDS women. But I think it applies to any woman who has faith in God and is really trying every day to do the best she can. Whatever that might be. So, since I can't sing it for you (ha, that would be funny) I will type up the words so that you can read it. The words by themselves are great, but hearing them to music.....something about music.....anyway, here it is:

I know you wonder if you'll ever have a day
When the kids stay calm, the laundry's done and the dishes are put away
And sometimes you feel like your days are spent and gone
And the question running through your mind is what have I gotten done?
and when you finally have a moment to slow down
At the end of the day I know Father would say
Believe in what you're doing
Believe in who you are
And hold tight to the truth that you're a daughter of God
Believe in who you're becoming
Believe in who you are

(i can't even type the darn thing without crying)

It may seem simple all the little things you do but the lives you touch matter so much
And there's no one else like you
And Father needs you to stand tall and faithful
To be all you can be
Oh if you could see what He sees you'd
Believe in what you're doing
You'd believe in who you are
So hold tight to the truth that you're a daughter of God
Believe in who you're becoming
Believe in who you are

When it's hard to believe in yourself
And you feel like you're beginning to doubt
Remember
He believes in what you're doing
He believes in who you are
So don't lose sight of the truth that you're a daughter of God
That He believes in who you're becoming
He believes in who you are


My mom never seemed like she enjoyed being a mother. She seemed to always be upset about our lack of cleaning skills or our ability to leave our stuff every where. And if we didn't do EXACTLY what she wanted us to do, we were out of favor. Since I knew nothing else, that is what I thought a mother should be like. So wrong. Unfortunately, I still do some of those things. I'm trying to just enjoy being a mom. Realizing that if all the laundry doesn't get done, oh well. It's not like your kids are going to remember that you always got the laundry done. They will remember you taking them to the park, to the pool. Playing with them, and just doing your best.

Growing up, I had a hard time believing that I was important or that He even knew what was going on with me. My mom was pretty critical of me (still is, some things never change) and I had a hard time finding any value in myself. Leaving home has helped with that a lot. My self esteem has skyrocketed. I have a much better grasp on who I am now, and what I can be. As much as being a mom can really suck some days (don't tell me you don't all have those days because you do even if you don't admit it) there are more good days than bad ones. Focusing on being a mom is what I'm supposed to be doing right now. This song gives me hope, helps me to know I am getting the help that I need from Him to get me through. And to know that I'm not the only one who has those days.