Lots of times on facebook, I read about wives who are expressing sadness and a little desperation when they talk about how their husband is leaving for a few days. Or maybe a week or two. Or that the wives are leaving, and how much they will miss their husband.
On good days, I can just scroll right past it and not let it bother me. On OK days, it bothers me, but I can still scroll past it, and I can let it go. On bad days, it is all I can do to not leave a comment that says something like "cry me a river" or "suck it up". Or something even more unkind like "well, if he's not in a war zone, I'm sure it will all be fine".
I try so hard to realize that these people have never experienced anything like what I am going through. I also try to remember that we are all so different, with our own different challenges and personal struggles. Not to mention that facebook is such a teeny tiny part of that persons life or day.
Right now, I can see the light at the end of this year long tunnel. Every day it gets brighter. My worry is no longer "if I can make it through the year" but "I hope I don't kill him during the transition". In talking to the woman in charge of our Battalions FRG leaders (which from now on I am just going to call our FRSA) she says that there are studies that have been done that say that the transition after deployment is actually more difficult than deployment. It was hard last year after he had only been away from us for four months. I can only imagine how fun it is going to be this time around......
But regardless, it will be so great to have him home. My kids need their dad. And, I'm going to be honest here, I need my husband. It is hard work being the only person to get things done. I could probably handle just the household stuff, but I have to take care of the vehicles, the yard, the house, the bills......anyway, just everything. And because I'm not superwoman, things fall through the cracks. I'm looking forward to going out with him on dates. To having someone to talk to in the evenings. To simpler things like getting to hold his hand, to reach over and touch him! Even the things that irritate me, like the noises he makes in the morning, or him leaving his bike stuff all over the place.
About a month before he left, I had somewhat of a melt down. I just laid on our bed and cried and cried. Just the thought of being alone for a year was so overwhelming to me, especially after we had only been together for a few months after he had been gone for four months. He came in and just held me and let me cry. And now, here we are...almost to the end.......thank goodness.
Letters to a Beleaguered SCMC Member
2 hours ago