A few months ago, I was asked to speak in church. My topic was Heavenly Father knows us and blesses us in our trials.
That was a very tough topic for me. Not because I didn't have anything to say, but because it was very personal. I was right in the middle of one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do (being a single parent while my husband is deployed while dealing with the leftovers of some other issues). And not only that, I didn't feel that it was appropriate for me to go into great detail about MY trials, and forget about what the scriptures actually teach us. And so I didn't.
But do you believe that? The He does bless you? That He knows you?
What made this topic extra personal to me is that I do believe it. And for myself, I know it.
I also know that there are blessings, huge blessings, on the other side of those trials.
This is huge for me. And I want to document it, hence the blogging of this.
Sometimes, in the midst of great difficulty, I start to fall apart. I can't see to the other side of what is going on, and things start to spiral down down down. And I really struggle to get myself back up. I feel like there will be no end. And that there will be nothing good that will come of it. But in just the last 18 months, the things that I have had to deal with -and boy were they some humdingers of problems and trials- there have been good things. Nothing tangible, but perhaps personal growth, a change in the right direction, a glimpse into what the bigger picture is that He has for me. I have also learned that I need to ask for help. Because contrary to what I would like to believe, I cannot do it all on my own. At the same time, I have learned how strong I really am! What I can do, and that the spiral down does not have to happen if I don't let it. Amazing, isn't it.
What does this do for me? It gives me hope. Hope for the next time that something comes up, and I start to feel things pushing me down, that I can remember these things I have learned and keep myself up. Maybe be able to endure a little better the next time around. Have a bigger perspective.
And those are my Easter Sunday thoughts.