Mild, Moderate, or Severe???

I just took an online test that asseses your level of the fear of flying. If you guessed Severe, you were right. I have a severe problem with flying. And if I spend over $2000 I can overcome it with their help!!! Sometimes I feel like Meg Ryan in French Kiss. (one of my favorites because it is a funny movie, AND it is in france AND they speak french which I understand and sometimes the subtitles translate a little strange) When they are trying to make her find a happy place. I guess I need a Kevin Kline to sit next to me and get me so mad that I don't know what it going on. Luckily my flight is only three hours, and my kids will keep me plenty occupied. So, if my fear of flying is Severe, what might you think my fear of being a passenger in a car is??? I'll see if I can find a test for that one. If you asked my friend Holly, she would classify it as severe. She even has a rule that I must always sit in the backseat if at all possible. For the good of both of us. If any of you would like to take this lovely test, I will be happy to email it to you. Or maybe if I can figure out how to add it to this website I'll do that. Rather than spending that kind of money, I would much rather have a Xanex. Cheaper, takes the edge off, and much much easier!!!

Flight Anxiety

Tomorrow we fly to California. If we drove, it would take us more than 20 hours driving time. But since we are flying, it will only take us 3. As wonderfull as that is, everytime I start thinking about getting on that airplane, my stomach gets a funny feeling, and I start to freak out a little. This is not because I have never flown. Or even never flown with kids. I have flown several times, and over the ocean counts as 6 of those times. And with us being in the military, I will probably fly several more times. I have decided that the next time I fly, (tomorrow doesn't count as the next time) I will go find me a doctor that can give me some happy pills. Something to take the edge off, but that won't make me completly comatose so that I can also take care of my kids. You might suggest giving my kids some benadryl. But if they are sleeping, then I have nothing to occupy me, so that the flight last much longer. I need them awake and busy so that I am occupied and so the time "flies" (haha) by. If any of you have any suggestions for the specific kind of happy pills I should ask for, please let me know. As soon as I can get myself into one of those kinds of doctors, I will be sure and ask for it. If you don't have any suggestions, just pray for me so that I don't lose it.

Airlines Suck

Last night I was on the computer and my cell phone and my home phone trying to find flights for my three sibs that live in or near utah, to fly to California for my grandpa's funeral. I found an awesome deal for $149 round trip. But because we had to coordinate between four people (dad, camille, garrett and marshall) it too forever to get things going. I got in the shower, and then they called and said that they wanted to do it. Well, by the time I could get to the computer the prices for the SAME EXACT FLIGHT were twice what it was. And then when I called to see what their bereavement (i didn't spell that right) fares were, it was more expensive than what I had found online!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am not a person that uses strong language, or is even rude to people on the phone. But I hung up on that lady and I was so mad, and words almost came out that were not good. Luckily southwest had something that was less expensive than anyone else, and was still available. So as fast as I could, I booked them on those flights. My dad ended up paying for the tickets. And my dad does not drop that kind of money often at all. He will use something until there are holes, and you can see right through the fabric. (so gross) It must really mean a lot for him to have all his kids at the funeral. I on the other hand got a great deal, and I will be staying there for almost two weeks, because I won't be able to afford to fly back anytime soon. So today, even if it is sunday, all bad thoughts are going towards the airlines and the people that decide how much tickets are and when to hike the prices. They are evil, and I hope that all the money that they make from selling people overpriced tickets, especially when someone has passed away, serves them badly. In a few days I probably won't feel this way, but for today that is how its going to be. I hope all the rest of you have a better sunday. Oh, and Lucy has a fever so we aren't even at church. Which kind of sucks because for once I actually wanted to be there. Oh well.

Life and Death

My grandpa died early this morning. He had been suffering for a while, so we kind of all knew that it was coming. Losing a family member is something that we all go through, no matter how much money we have, or where we live, or what our religion is. And just because someone has more money does not mean that they feel the pain any less than someone who has none. I love my grandpa, and I am sad that my children will not really get to know him, but I did. So I can tell them stories and help them learn who my grandpa was. One of the positive things about the situation is that I get to fly to California and stay for a while. And it will be a chance to see people that I haven't been able to see for several years. This is kind of a boring blog, but I really don't want to talk about anything else. I do know that I will see him again, when its my turn to go. In some ways I'm scared of dying, but then there are so many that I will be able to meet and those that i knew like my grandma, and now my grandpa. I hope that whoever reads this doesn't get depressed or sad or anything. Its just on my mind today.....
Maybe tomorrow's blog will be a little better.

Taking a Shower

Those of you that are not yet married or are married without children do not know the luxury they have of taking a shower when they want to. As I have two young children, my opportunities to take a shower are few. I either have to get up before the break of dawn, or wait until they are asleep at night. Sometimes, like this morning, Andrew will wake up before I can manage to pull myself out of bed (having stayed up late because thats when I get to be by myself) and my only option at this point is to have him in the bathroom with me while i take a shower. He is 3 and a half, so he is a pretty big boy. But the crazy mother I am would prefer to know where he is and what he is doing while I'm in the shower. Sometimes when this happenes Matt will stay home a little longer and study while I jump in and out of the shower. Which I don't like either because I am one that enjoys a good, long, hot shower. So, those of you that have no children or are single, take advantage and realize how lucky you are to be able to wash yourselves at your convineince (I don't think i spelled that right). As I do like to be clean, I have made the goal of getting up before my children and getting my shower in. But as that time varies from day to day, (andrew woke up at 5:30am the other day. I thought I was going to lose my mind) I have yet to accomplish that goal with any consistency. Some of you may say, why don't you shower at night? I have tried that, and I just don't like it. I won't blowdry my hair if I shower at night, and my hair in the morning just won't listen to my flatiron as it is trying to make it behave. So, maybe tomorrow morning I will be able to get my shower in before they wake up.

Texas and my Mom

The sun came out today!!! Hooray.

I guess I should explain a little about why we are here in Texas. My husband is going to the Army Physicians Assistant school here at Fort Sam Houston. All he does is go to school and come home and study. He does take a few breaks, and he helps out with getting the kids to bed, but pretty much everything else is me. I'm pretty much a single mom for the year. We came from Germany, and I did not want to leave there. I feel much more comfortable in Europe than I do in America sometimes. Even if I don't speak the language. I hold on to the hope that someday we will again be stationed in Germany. This is kind of a boring blog, but its just a little background on the who, what, where, and why of being in Texas.
I will have more interesting things to say at some point, but I'm still getting used to this blogging thing. I actually have a ton of opinions, but whenever I sit down to do this, my mind goes blank, and I'm searching for something to say.
At the end of February my parents will be coming to see us. Which will be our first visitors in our new place. It will be interesting as my mother always seems to pick at my self esteem by critisizing my housekeeping, what I feed my kids, and whether or not my marriage is going to fail. Maybe this time I will figure out how to stand up for myself without having a knock-down-drag-out fight with her. I am hoping to avoid that at all costs, but as a woman with little patience, I can only take so much before I explode.
That is a little more interesting than why we're in Texas. I'm hoping I'll come up with something a lot more interesting to say soon. Sigh....I thought this would be easier.

My very first blog

The one thing that I was looking forward to when we left Heidelberg and were coming to Texas, was the nice weather. Sun, blue sky, flip flops, t-shirts, all of that. And all year too. And the last two weeks have been like living in Germany again. We had ice storms, and the last three days it has been raining or just plain dreary outside. And not seeing our lovely sun really does something to me. I'm cranky, irritable, and I just don't feel quite right. So, right now, I'm kind of in a funk as another friend called it. Every morning, I hope for the sun, and not just for me. My poor kids want to play outside and they are stuck in the house. Which makes them a little crazy too. I don't think I will ever get used to not seeing the sun every day. Well, since this is my first blog, I will keep it short. I will attempt again tomorrow, and maybe the sun will come out.......