Thursday, October 22, 2009

To wrestle or not to wrestle????

Matt has wanted our son to get into wrestling for a while. I looked into it a bit when we moved to California, but I think we missed it. I found some information on our local wrestling teams here, and I'm considering getting him into it. He says he wants to do it, although I don't think he realizes exactly what he is saying he wants to do.

I looked at the practice schedule, and the meet schedule. They have practices three evenings a week for an hour and a half, right during dinner time. And every Saturday is a meet. Sometimes close by, usually a good distance away. My son isn't that old. Sometimes he doesn't want to go to soccer, and that is only one night a week. Not to mention that it's $70 and we provide the shoes and headgear.

I guess this group is really hardcore. I mean, we have to commit to three evenings a week, plus whatever time on Saturday. I guess if Matt were here to do some of this, I wouldn't be so apprehensive about signing him up. That is just so much for me to commit to, for such a young kid. Who may HATE it.

I brought this up to my husband, and he said at our sons age, he was running every day. And not just running around outside, they were running competitively. His dad had both his sister and him running like that. His mom took his dad to court (they were divorced) because she felt it was abusive to be making such small kids do that every day. While I don't know about abusive, I would have had a problem with it, too. I mean, they are kids. I guess to get ahead in the sports world you have to start the second you're conceived. I just don't think it's worth it. For my husband, it's one of the few positive memories he has from his childhood. (his words) I'm sure it still could have been a positive thing for him if it was done with a little more moderation, and more thought about what was good for the child, rather than what the parent wanted for the child. Because we as parents have a habit of projecting on our kids what we want for them, rather than asking the kids what they want. With regards to sports and other extracurricular activities, I mean.

So, I just don't know if it's worth it! I think it's a little excessive to require so much for kids my sons age. Granted, like I said, it would be different if I had some help. But I don't. So, not only do I question the practices for the kids, I just don't know if as a parent I can commit to that. I mean, I have to cook dinner sometime. There is more to life than wrestling. And those nights I may have other places that I need to be, or things that I need to do.

Have any of you encountered this? What have you done? How do you feel about sports that require so much from kids as such a young age? I'm torn a bit. He says he wants to do it, but I don't think he realizes what he's saying yes to. I have until Monday to figure it out. I guess I'll spend some of that time explaining to him what he'll be doing those 3 nights a week.



Shelly! said...

This one is actually easy for me.


At this age I believe that kids need to be exposed to as many adventures and experiences as they can to form their identity.

I do believe, like so many other parents out there, that we are in this mode of filling all of our kids time with stuff...when they don't really need it.

If it were one practice a week with one meet, that would be different. But 4.5 hours of practice a week is too much.

To be fair, Matt's memory and feelings from that period of time are precious. But quite frankly, he doesn't hold much else of his childhood with great love or respect so of course this one period, that one sport means a lot to him. Of course he would want to replicate that. But Andrew comes from a loving home with experiences that teach him, help him grow, and build his identity outside of one thing.

Perhaps when Matt is home it will be a good time for Andrew to do that. It will give he and Andrew time to bond, without putting the burden of the schedule on you.

In the meantime, find a one a week gymnastics class or soccer or dance and Andrew will be thrilled.

The cuddly Holmes Family said...
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The cuddly Holmes Family said...
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Valerie said...

I struggle with this to, with both sports and music lessons. Apparently your kid can't be a master violinist and gold medal gymnast at the same time, and either pursuit would be a full-time job for the family. So I pretty lock myself in the bathroom, and plug my ears, and sing "la-la-la" whenever anyone suggests I put my daughter in "x" activity, because it just fuels my morbid tendency to over commit. For now, my daughter will just be a kid, with occasional piano lessons from me, and perhaps a gymnastics class in the winter.