Sunday, October 25, 2009

I've been hit

Oh this day.

Been dreading you for a whole year.

And now you're almost gone.

Have you noticed that things always happen in groups? It never is just one thing. It's about four or five.

This week I've had a sick kid, another kid who was jealous of the sick kid and therefore was behaving badly. The weather has been terrible. We've seen the sun very little in the last 8 or 9 days. We got a package from Matt, and he wrote a few special things to me. (which means a lot to me, and is a big thing to me, so that's why I'm including that.) I'm on my period.(yes, I just said it. lets just move on.)

And I was doing OK. I was feeling really good. But then today came. And for whatever reason today hit me. Hit me hard. A birthday should be something to celebrate. But nothing to celebrate today.

Are you ever so conscious of your heart that it feels as if your whole body were beating?

I want to revel in this pain I feel today. I rarely allow myself to do that, mostly because I truly don't have the time to just stop and cry. I'm sure I would feel better if I did. I have kids that need my attention, and at this moment, I should be getting them ready for bed. So I shouldn't even be writing this. But I am anyway. Hopefully they'll get the blocks picked up while I do this.

My faith should help me through this. And sometimes it does. And other times, it just doesn't matter. Because it just hurts.


Shelly! said...

Gorgeous post TJ.

Wish I could be there.

Wish he could be here.

But I'm celebrating his birth day with you. And marveling in your strength. And wishing for your pain to find peace. Maybe someday.

Valerie said...

I hate weeks like that! I really do!! And grey weather. DC has too much of that as well. Here's to California dreaming.....

p.s. happy birthday!

Vashti said...

Hi Terina,
Just wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you.