Wednesday, August 19, 2009

All I can handle

My kids and I have been having a fantastic time on our road trip. We've seen numerous family and friends all over the place. We've been to the beach, swam until we were big wrinkles, played with Grandpas and Grandmas, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Took a few walks down memory lane for me, explored some new places, and was present for the sealing of a good friend. But today about did me in.

I had trouble sleeping last night, and I just couldn't figure out what the problem was. About 6am, I figured it out when Andrew woke up needing to throw up. And then he and I took turns using the toilet for either throwing up or that stuff that comes out the other end. We have spent the entire day laying around, going to the bathroom, and trying to figure out where the heck Lucy was since she was perfectly fine. I was supposed to start on my trek back to our house today, and that obviously did not happen.

You know, I just feel like I've had all I can take. I had to deliver a baby that was no longer alive, lived with my parents while my husband did officer training, had a father in law who was putting us through absolute hell all because he can't seem to make good financial decisions or save a penny, moved states, and now my husband is deployed. And gosh darn it, I just can't do anymore. This day about broke me. I sat on the toilet and just cried. I just wanted to go home, and I couldn't.

Now it's the end of the day and we've both had chicken soup and some crackers, and can stand up without feeling dizzy or needing to sit right back down. And now it doesn't feel so desperate. But really, I just cannot CANNOT handle any more. This was only one day, and a fairly short stomach bug, but it just pushed me over the edge of what I could handle. It's always the little things isn't it.

To quote one of my all time favorite books "Tomorrow is another day". And as long as there isn't any throw up or diarrhea, I think I just might be able to get through it.


Valerie said...

Oh Terina,

I've so been there! When my health has been so bad that for months I couldn't take care of myself or my children, I remember thinking I couldn't handle one more thing.You really are amazing!! You've survived so much. Even the thought of taking my kids on a road trip alone, is more than I can handle, even when my health is great! I once heard a talk by S. Michael Wilcox that I loved. He talked about Christ coming to help his apostles in the "4th watch." And he likened that to The Lord letting us struggle until the very limits of endurance. He also said, that if the Lord isn't rescuing you, then know that he's made you "tight like a dish." You might be able to find some of his talks on You'll be in my prayers!!

Emily S. said...

Just chiming in to tell you how amazing you've been. I am so sorry your trip ended this way.

You're in my prayers...