Hmmmm

I was talking to someone the other day. She is on "house rest" where she isn't supposed to be doing a whole lot, but isn't on bed rest. She is about 4 weeks or so from her due date. And as women do, I started asking what her plans were for delivery and that sort of thing. Well, she wants to have her baby at home, with a midwife.

When I heard that, I thought "this woman is crazy". But I kept my mouth shut, and just asked a few more questions about it. I tried as hard as I could to not say that she was (in my opinion) taking a huge huge risk in that choice.

I understand peoples desires to give birth without the epidural or other pain medication. I can see the benefit in not putting drugs into your body. I can understand wanting a midwife, and not a doctor. I struggle with the fact that she will be a few miles away from a hospital that is equipped to take care of her needs if there is something that goes wrong.

Yes, women have been delivering babies for thousands of years without pain medication, without doctors and all of those things. And many many of them died in the process. Now we have the knowledge and technology to keep these mothers and children alive. I believe it is a gift that we have. Yes, we need to use it correctly, and not just hand out the pain meds. I know 2 other mothers that would not be with us today if we did not have the technology and medication that we have now. One gets so sick that she loses weight throughout her entire pregnancy, and has had many many IVs and even a feeding tube that bypassed her stomach and went straight to her intestines. Another one who had a little boy 8 weeks early after being on bed rest for more than 6 months and he was delivered Cesarean, and was in the hospital for many many weeks. So many other women who's lives were saved because of the knowledge that we have now. 70 years ago, these women and their children would never had made it. I would be without a sister and a best friend. I have had to have two emergency c-sections because of a breech baby, and then because of my previous c-section (and the fact that there wasn't any lax left on the umbilical cord because she did gymnastics in my uterus) I had to have another one after 4 hours of pushing and not progressing. How I wanted to be like other women and deliver a baby how we were made to do it. But it wasn't to be.

So, in some ways I understand why this woman would have these desires. But at the same time, I feel like she is taking a huge risk with her life and her baby's life.

We are lucky that we live in this time where we have these options and choices. And that is wonderful! I just have to learn to not judge, keep my mouth shut, and then pray that both mother and baby are healthy. But there isn't a person on this earth that could convince me that it is better to deliver at home, without a doctor close by, without professionals that know how to take care of those newly born babies, without an anesthesiologist, without the IVs, without having all that is needed there and ready just in case. When my life is on the line, and my child's, the place where all of those things are available is where I need to be.

Have any of you encountered this before? Have any of you had home births? Even if we don't agree about what is the "right" way, at least I can have a better understanding. Maybe next time someone tells me that they are choosing to have their baby at home I won't have such a crazy gut reaction to it. Maybe I'll be less judgemental and more respectful of their choice.