Well

So far, I have escaped the nasty bug that has hit everyone else. Don't know how I did it. I was the one cleaning up all of the messes....

I have something to put out there. Growing up, my mom would almost completely redecorate our house every month. In fact, every month my mom had a different theme. I am not joking. She had stupid little knick knacky things to put up, things to hang on the walls, center pieces for the dining room table and the kitchen table, and the island in the kitchen. Not to mention matching table cloths and place mats. It seemed as if every season threw up into our house. Luckily our rooms escaped the decorating fever, but it was every where else. I hated it. I hate it so much, that as an adult, when someone mentions decorating something, I want to run away. My mother continues to give me dust collectors to "decorate" my home for the different seasons. My sister feels pretty much the same way. We don't mind a little, but does every space need to be covered?? Anyway, we've told her we won't use it, we don't want it, but it still keeps coming. She even spent money on sending me decorations when I lived in Germany. I usually give them away to people that would use it.

So far, I haven't lived anywhere long enough to decorate at all. We might hang a few pictures on the walls, but that's it. I don't really have a color scheme, nor do I have much idea what I want other than I want it to have a french feel to it. Mostly the Eiffel Tower (my kids already know what that is. I had to change Andrews pants underneath it. Great memories....)

At church, when I see women spending time to worry about a tablecloth and a vase with flowers or whatever they might put on that table, I think they are crazy. Yes, visual aids are great, but do we need to spend five minutes worrying about a tablecloth that really doesn't matter at all? After we die, are they going to ask if we had a tablecloth without stains or holes on the table during our Relief Society lesson? My opinion is No. It will not matter one tiny bit. Nor will it matter if we decorate our home for every darn holiday on the calendar. Will it matter if our home is a clean, nice looking home that people want to be in? My opinion is Yes. Does having a tablecloth improve the quality of our lesson? No!! I want to try and eliminate those things in our lives that really don't matter that much in the long run. I feel that a lot of my childhood was focused on things that really don't matter in the long run.

I felt that a lot of what I heard from my mom is that our house had to be just so, and I would really get in trouble if the bathroom wasn't cleaned exactly how she wanted. My mom could have dealt with it much better than she did. It was a normal thing for her to get angry and for all of us to run for cover. It was always important to her that we had Easter and Christmas dresses. And that we matched. Um, I hate that, and will never do that to my children. How about we just look nice? Why stress out about it and sew late into the night for that one Sunday that we all match. Just not worth it to me. To be honest, I'm not sure yet how I'm going to deal with the chore thing and when they don't do all that needs to be done. Right now, and I do this already sometimes, I get down on Andrews level and tell him that I don't like cleaning up either, that it is hard for me to do it, and if we do it together we can do it. Or that we have to do it, even if we don't like it. It has only worked once so far, and those few minutes of hearing him tell me (after I had picked up his room some) that he was cleaning up his room, and look mom, I'm doing my part and you did yours. That was one of the best feelings I've had in a long time.

I guess the point of this post is to remind myself that so many things don't matter, but if you deal with them the wrong way (like losing it over the little things) they will matter. It is such a hard balance for me. I find that when I stress over things I don't treat those around me very well. So, do I keep my home spotless, be stressed out and mean, or do I let it be cluttered and treat my family nicely? I guess I need to learn to do both at the same time, but for now, I'm OK with a cluttered home as long as the important things are cleaned (like the bathrooms) and I treat my kids like they should be treated. It is also OK for those that enjoy decorating or doing whatever it is that they like to do, but for me it isn't worth it if those around us get treated badly because of it, or if more important things are neglected. Anyone have any ideas on how to balance all of this? Have you succeeded? Because I need some help!!

It might seem to you that I'm a basket case and you wonder how I function. You know, some days I wonder that same thing....

Lucy woke up crying a little while ago while I was typing my post and she had thrown up again...sigh... will this never end?? I am done with this bug!!!